• Get rid of the boarders – Not meant to be there
• Sound effects odd if there isn’t more
• Likes dissolves transitions
• Not the twirl transition – looks cliché
•  Likes cutting mid sentence
• Likes neon flash transition
• Likes the mirror effect – Do it somewhere else?
• Some nature shots in black and white and some in colour need continuity
• Make ghoshting bigger front 1min 30 ish
• Weird nature shot of grass 1 min 30 ish
• 1 min 40 ish create a similar ghosting on same vid but for other side
• 2 min sunset get frame dissolved as too sharp
• 2 min cut to scale in shot after she lifts her head up
• Nature needs to be dissolved in and out so they arn’t harsh
• 2 min 30 weird transition CHANGE
• 2 min 32 slow down the nature as it can dissolve in n out
• 2 min 47 not sure of shot as naturalistic moment
• 2 min 50 doesn’t like black and white clips
• 3 min 10 ghost her both sides
• 3 min 15 change nature shot from sky to something specific
• 3 min 20 ish fade harsh boarder on frame
• Likes flowers in eye at the end
• Make the eye clip longer and play with it more
• Really look at transitions and speed
• Last clip – should stay with her not the other clip.

Above are some peer assessed comments.

Our targets were to go back and try to remove the black boarder around some of the clips and we were told that our transitions as well as effects suited the genre well and made for an exciting video.

After listening to the feedback from our teacher in the screen castify, we made and improvements to our music video to help make it more flowing and more interesting for the audience.

Changes –

• We blurred the edges of the rectangle of colour in our first water scene to help the black and white of the background fade smoothly into colour.
• We cropped out the studio scenes of the model because they didn’t fit in well with the narrative and the model didn’t have as much charisma in them.
• We took more nature clips, such as close-ups of flowers, and embedded them into our music video to help portray the narrative of the character being happy alone in nature.
• We also involved new footage that we had taken which helped to further illustrate our narrative.

Targets –

• We still need more videos of nature and wildlife.
• We need to add transitions between clips.
• Put together more effects on some of the clips.
• Acting needs to be more exaggerated by the performer.

Comments from peers:

What went well:

• Really well-placed effects that elevated some of the clips from average to good
• good lip-syncing in general
• good mise-en-scene such as jewelry changing and clothes changing
• Good settings for the narrative, the graffiti wall was effective

Even better if:

• More transitions and effects on the clips, maybe add some more colorful effects in.
• Fill in some of the gaps with different footage such as more narrative.
• Some of the lip-syncing could be better and more in line with the words.
• 

On our second shoot, we revisited the Bowling alley and went into town to take more footage:

• We explored further around the bowling alley and found a graffiti wall which was perfect for our narrative where the star is distressed and confused.
• We also shot footage in the paths in the area to add a nature theme to our video, for example shooting grass and the sky to fill in spaces where there was no singing to lip-sync in the video.
• Next we went into town where we used the rainbow steps to take some more seemingly candid shots of our model being happy and carefree, in addition to the steps we visited a colorful and positive graffiti wall which was really good as the brightness and happy vibe of the wall added another level of positive energy to the shoot.

However, there were some things we need to take into account for our next shoot:

• We did’t get enough footage so we will have to take more lip-syncing videos in the future so that we have enough footage.
• We took some really good videos of nature but on our phones and so when we uploaded them to edit the scale was wrong which takes a lot of time to edit into the correct frame.
• We didn’t take as many narrative shots as we could have meaning there are many gaps still in the video.
•