I chose these adverts because the Rihanna perfume will appeal to my target audience of 18-29 year old females which I found out using YouGov, they would enjoy these adverts because both Rihanna and Post Malone are in the hip-hop and rap genre so a perfume and tour from both of these artists seems appropriate for my target audience.
This is the final feedback that I have received from my teacher for my penultimate draft. The feedback I received was mostly positive but I still have some targets to address.
- Move captions and coverlines
- Make the masthead stand out – possibly Bevel and Emboss?
- Make the plug pop more, center the text
- Move the “and their new album” under the main coverline.
- Line up the text with the numbers
- Plug needs more added to it
- Page numbers bigger
- Add edited background, original picture?
Double Page Spread:
- Bring text forward – not behind her arm
- Remove hyphens
Now that my double page spread is almost finished, I got some peer feedback so that I had some outside opinions on how I can improve and make my double page spread better.
After receiving some verbal feedback from a peer, I have been told that I should try and fix the area in the top right corner where the text is difficult to read because the background is quite dark. Also a running target is to make the photoshop cleaner and less harsh.
I was also told that the article type was good because it felt very conversational, which suggests that the artists are speaking directly to the audience and not to a journalist.
This is the development of my article which is very much just a brainstorm idea for a Top Tips type of article. I will be using this as a template for my article so that I know roughly what sort of article I want to write.
The article that I have chosen is called “10 Commandments” (September 2017) the name of the magazine and author have not been disclosed. The article is focused on an artist called Wyclef Jean giving his top 10 rules for a musician and rapper life.
The structure and presence of the journalist:
The structure of the article is 10 Top tips for life, the structure mainly focuses on the featured artist giving his own personal tips and not being prompted by the journalist to get specific answers, so there is not much awareness of the presence of the journalist. This impacts the overall article because it creates a more personal feel as if the featured artist is directly addressing the readers.
The language used is very casual and informal, this leads me to believe that the journalist did not participate much in this article and let the artist have free reign. I get this impression because of the use of profanity and the way the words flow, it seems like they are coming directly out of the artists mouth. This creates an impression of feeling close to the artist as if you are having a one-on-one conversation and not just reading a magazine article.
The whole article is quote from the artist showing that he had full control of what was said and the article is just about him. From reading this article the reader will feel like they have had a first hand experience with the featured artist and feel closer to them and get a more up-close and personal encounter.
Overall in this article the journalist represents the star as a very real and hands on artist who is very passionate about their career and the progression they hope to see in the future. the style of article the journalist chose to do perceived the star as being down to earth and wanting to be closer to his audience by making it seem like he was addressing them directly.
The targets that I have received to improve my overall magazine are:
- Fix Photoshop because of the edge having a white line
- Add more captions to the front cover
- Center the writing on the plug on my front over
- Add more borders or chevrons to make the front more exciting
- Add another photo to the contents page
- I have over used the font on my contents page
- I need to make the plug more exciting on the contents page
- On my Double Page Spread I need to make the models bigger
- I need to make the Quotes darker and bolder
- And finally remove hyphens from the text in my article
After receiving feedback on the first draft of my double page spread, I created this new and improved version.
The changes that I have made were pointed out to me in my first draft as needing to be improved. For example, I removed one of the drop shadows from the bar at the top, I cleaned up the photoshop on the edges of the models and I aligned the text with the larger letters.
After Completing the first draft of my double page spread, I asked for some feedback from a peer to identify what worked and what could be improved. The positives were;
- The background image
- The overall colour scheme
- The images of the models
- The article description
- The fonts
- The overall design and layout of the page
What needed to be changed to improve;
- Bring the smaller image forward to cover the cut off foot of the larger image
- Clean up edges of photoshop
- Try to re-arrange the text so that the words don’t blend in with the background
- Remove the bottom drop shadow from the bar at the top of the page
- Align larger letters to be level with the rest of the text.