Feedback from Teacher

Here follows a feedback on our Draft 2 from our teacher:

  1. Make the narrative clearer – give a meaning to why he is leaving the house and where he is going.
  2. Need more close-ups, primarily in performance, for example when the singer first begins, having a close-up of his face.
  3. Likes match-on-action of him opening the door.
  4. Praised the variety of framing and angles used, e.g. the high-angle above the bunker.
  5. Develop the idea that he is becoming more anxious by interlinking it with the performance sections.
  6. “Interesting transitions work okay” – these could be improved upon.
  7. Much needed emphasis on the sighing in the middle of the song – perhaps a close-up?
  8. “Stuttered ghost effect is good”
  9. Need to show more evidence of his anxiety somehow

 

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