Feedback from Teacher

Here follows a feedback on our Draft 2 from our teacher:

  1. Make the narrative clearer – give a meaning to why he is leaving the house and where he is going.
  2. Need more close-ups, primarily in performance, for example when the singer first begins, having a close-up of his face.
  3. Likes match-on-action of him opening the door.
  4. Praised the variety of framing and angles used, e.g. the high-angle above the bunker.
  5. Develop the idea that he is becoming more anxious by interlinking it with the performance sections.
  6. “Interesting transitions work okay” – these could be improved upon.
  7. Much needed emphasis on the sighing in the middle of the song – perhaps a close-up?
  8. “Stuttered ghost effect is good”
  9. Need to show more evidence of his anxiety somehow


Music Video Draft 2 Includes Narrative

Here follows draft 2 of our music video:

Draft 2 from Andre Goncalves on Vimeo.

Targets for improvement:

  1. The pace of edit needs to sufficiently match the tempo of the song.
  2. The beginning section needs to feature more performance aspects, as now it is just elongated narrative elements.
  3. In various places during performance, the lip-syncing is not correct and sometimes the words are also wrong.
  4. Performance sections especially in choruses need to be more animated to match the tempo and feel of the song.
  5. The ending needs to be changed, personally I prefer the dropping of the mask as opposed to the ‘dead on a bench’.
  6. The sections featuring clapping needs to have both members clapping as opposed to one forgetting.
  7. Require more close-ups particularly in performance but also in some narrative areas (e.g. of the mask being dropped).

Generally, this edit has been successful even though there are many targets to be improved upon. It has developed since last time as now the majority of performance is in sync with the music and there are more narrative aspects included. Also, more post-production effects have been added and this has made a difference to the overall look of the product.

Shoot Evaluation (Narrative)

The following is a narrative evaluation for our narrative shoot, which took place at our actor Jack’s house, followed by Candie Gardens. These locations we felt were appropriate because firstly his house is a natural setting for his daily life and would reflect a somewhat ‘normal’ homelife. Then, the journey through Candie Gardens was easier to film because it is not too busy, meaning filming was quite easy but also it had some aesthetic backgrounds to contrast with his chaotic life.

  • At the house, we filmed the narrative chronologically so that we did not miss anything necessary.
  • We then got close-ups including match-on-action of the door handle, this allows us to have more coverage and more interesting shots.
  • Once we had finished this, we began the ‘side-narrative’ of him being approached at the mirror in his living room.
  • Following on, we moved locations to Candie Gardens, and had him journey through the area. This proved difficult at times due to it being lunchtime and several workers choose to have their lunch here, however we worked efficiently to get it all done.
  • Here, we got as many different backgrounds as possible to make cutting between shots seem like many locations were used, this will make the video much more interesting to watch.
  • These are some photos that we took of the group filming in the two locations.

This shoot was overall a success. We filmed for coverage and attained as many good shots as possible, so if another shoot was required it would not take long. We achieved the filming of the whole narrative we required and in the time frame so this was pleasing. In order for it to have gone even better we could:

  • Have had a clearer plan of what we wanted to do so that we could have gotten even more variety of shots and done it even quicker.
  • We could have visited the area beforehand and had an idea of exactly what we wanted to shoot and where we wanted to shoot it. This would of given us maximum time and we could have achieved more.

Narrative Development

This is a three point structure for the narrative section of our music video, featured in this, we have descriptions of each part of the narrative including the ideas and themes explored in each section, how the story would be progressed in that section and what will we show to demonstrate what is happening. Our narrative structure is ‘amplified’, this is when the narrative, whilst inspired by the song, adds a narrative element to complement the subject matter of the song. It is a combination video which is a mixture of performance and narrative to relatively a 50/50 split, and the performer has an active role in the narrative.

In the beginning, we see a close up of him unzipping his rucksack before he heads out for the day, this is showing the uncertainty of the journey the character is about to embark upon, he is also stood in a mirror, a masked man is poised behind him. The middle section, which is the disequilibrium of the story, of the narrative will show the character getting increasingly more paranoid as he beings to notice the masked man around him. He is starting to move closer to him in the mirror. In the end section, the main character finally becomes possessed by the masked figure in the mirror.

Performance Rough Cut – Draft 1

Overall, we were happy with the shots we acquired as they were filmed correctly with a wide variety of coverage. There were a few things we could have done better:

  1. Taken a few more high-angled shots for better coverage
  2. Ensure everyone had what they were supposed to because an item or two were forgotten
  3. Make sure the singer knows all the words to a confident level
  4. Taken a wider variety of location shots
  5. Used more close-ups, there were a lot of mid-shots
  6. Use more of a variety of acting techniques

Shoot Reflection (Performance)

Here follows our performance shoot, which was at a bunker in the south-west of the island. Attendants were myself, Andre, Lilli, and our actors, Jack and Dan.

We took these photos to demonstrate how and what we were filming from different angles:

  • Firstly, we guaranteed we had our three main coverage shots, the mid-shot, the close-up and the long shot. This allowed us to confidently have at least some variety.
  • We then experimented with different types of shots to get even more coverage to make our performance more fast paced and exciting.
  • For our ‘stage’ set, we used the front area of the bunker, and for a close-up we used the doorway and the vocalist.
  • We then moved around the location to get a wider variety of backgrounds.

The shoot as a whole was overall quite successful as we get a wide range of shots, angles and all performance aspects were filled. There were a few issues such as the lack of a drum kit however we worked around it by making it a two-man performance.

  • In order to have improved our shoot we could have been more organised with equipment by making an official plan of who was bringing what, and how each item was transported.
  • If we had more time we could have done more experimental shots and angles to make the performance section more interesting.