January 18

Feedback on Article-Peer Voice Memo

Above is the recording of Macy reading then analysing my work.

To enable myself to receive more varied feedback, one of my peers, Macy Jackson read my article out loud in order to see whether everything made sense and if there was any typos and corrections I needed to make so that I can improve my writing and magazine as a whole.

Targets for Development:

  • use more commas in places so it has more flow
  • used accidental plurals
  • enjoy the brutality of the star images behavior
  • transitioned in in and out
  • on paragraph 3 I ended with the talking about the council estate then started the next paragraph with a similar comment, space it out to create more flow

 

 

 


Posted 18th January 2018 by carneyshackleton in category Music Magazine

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