Feedback From Teacher

This is our Feedback from our teacher about our draft two music video.

She gives us feed back which is going to be very helpful when it comes to us making our next  few drafts:

Good points:

  • Editing to the beat works well
  • good lip sync
  • good match on action of brooks hands on lucks waist
  • lovely shot of Lucy on the swing
  • really nice close up of her crying
  • mise-en-scene with the picnic box


  • start off with a close up
  • have more close ups in performance
  • continuity edit with error with the rose
  • close ups with facial reactions in narrative
  • cutting back to his reaction
  • more close ups to show connection and clarity
  • point of view/match on actions of her on the swing
  • get rid of the long shot of Lucy dancing on the balcony (as its badly lit)
  • tracking shot of them walking through the flower pathway
  • transitioning through the camera to the next shot of them walking towards it.
  • hand held canted angles when they fall over to get the audience to connect with them more
  • continuity doesn’t work when they walk across the screen as they fell over before hand
  • close up of dog
  • cut to narrative when she isn’t singing words
  • reaction of him walking away
  • make it more obvious that brook has left her within the narrative
  • make the moment where it goes wrong
  • use the lyrics in the narrative (look into his eyes)
  • make a more obvious link as to why she throws the jumper back at brook, insure the audience know it is his jumper
  • more connection between the couple
  • tracking and dolly of the picnic box and the opening of packs
  • running light motifs throughout the piece to make it come altogether
  • focus more on the idea of them breaking up
  • display a clear deterioration of them splitting up
  • make the story more obvious earlier on in the video
  • running symbolism throughout of the flower (he loves me he loves me not, representing their rocky relationship)

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