DRAFT 6- MY FINAL OUTCOME

Here is my most recent draft of my magazine.

 

I got some final feedback from Miss Hales, below are some points she made that influenced my alterations and produced the above:

Front page:

  • align ‘Eden’s Project’ to border of yellow
  • emphasis on ‘Tallulah Gray’ as selling point
  • correct photoshop error of models right shoe
  • ‘Death cab for a cutie’ = Death cab for cutie
  • Change colour of text at bottom listing featured artists

Contents page:

  • image of Ebony looks slightly stretched sideways so correct
  • crop image of Maisie so there’s lies background space, but more focus on her
  • get rid of hyphens
  • change to ‘and we reflect…’ on page 10 description
  • align page headlines with page numbers

Double page spread:

  • smaller font for text
  • add an indication to turn page over to see the rest of the article
  • add small description or piece of information below album cover
  • change the colour of the questions in the article as heard to read

 

ADVERT

To finish my magazine, I’ve looked at appropriate adverts that would work well alongside my pages. These are the 3 I liked most:

1)

 

This is an advert for spotify, a very popular music streaming platform. I thought it was fitting for my magazine as it’s directed at students and the age bracket for my audience is around 18-24. I liked how the ad was simple and straightforward. My magazine is aimed at a normal, middle class audience so this offer is relevant and helpful to them. I also thought the bright colours tied in well with my magazine and grab the audiences attention.

2)

This ad is for New York Film Academy. I liked the creativity behind it, popcorn doubling up as  a trash can of drafts and attempts, something many of us can relate to ; countless attempts and the feeling of defeat. With my audience being very creative and with music playing a huge part in film, it could be a potential path for my demographic for my magazine.

3)

This ad for post is bringing the concept of sending letters back to popularity, not always relying on technology but bringing authenticity back retro style. I think it suits the open minded personality of my audience. I also think the image is very touching and imaginative.

 

PEER FEEDBACK ON ARTICLE

In order to develop my magazine, getting someones else’s view is important. Here is my feedback from Olly on my article. He recognised my use of programmes to manipulate images and integrate them well with the rest of my page and text. I’m happy he also understood the genre was indie based but he did say maybe hip-hop also which I think was down to the quirky route I’ve taken and the fashion of my model. Personally I think I need to re read all my article and headline for my contents page and check accuracy and think of a more creative headline rather than a quote.

I then also got my peer to read my article aloud to help me get an understanding for the flow or the article and if it reads well and authentically. The recording is attached below:

I think the article read well and the language kept it informal and chatty but still informative.

DRAFT 5- MY WORK IN PROGRESS

After hearing feedback from the screencastify, I’ve made further adjustments to my magazine, many small and intricate but making a huge difference. Such as:

  • aligning text and images so spacing is even and more proportionate
  • shortening page descriptions on contents page
  • cutting out/ reducing use of hyphens
  • adding image of album cover
  • using a play on words for DPS headline instead of quote

LANGUAGE ANALYSIS

The article ‘Cash For Questions’ by Paul stoke is a Q&A structured article that’s evident with the clear division of normal and bold text to show each question and response. The writer writes in 3rd person introducing the band ‘Alt-J’ and asks questions regarding the worlds views on the bands and challenging rumours or previous remarks. It’s clear the questions aren’t directly from a journalist but instead from fans, this is made clear with the names of the people that asked the question being a different colour from the rest of the text. By using questions directly from fans, it makes the article customised to the audience as the questions are of personal interest.

We are unsure of the location of this Q&A other than we know the members of Alt-J’ being present. The writer presents them as very ordinary and relatable people as they play at a library and the group all met at university. The article is very casual and phrases such as ‘shape-shifting’ fit the indie rock genre, presenting them as original and experimental. The stand first highlights random points throughout the interview to hook us in and seem engaging, eg ‘why they’re against dishwashers’. The article is laid back and humourous with the band making jokes early on and the questions being asked. Swear words are also present, telling us the band are rather care-free and relaxed, words like ‘dude’ also imply there a youthful and informal band.

The band describe their goal for their music is for it to be like ‘chewing gum that doesn’t lose it’s flavour’ giving a visual and relatable image and presents them as interesting, creative people that you want to learn more about. One of the band members also mentions how they used to work in a cafe, again making them seem accessible and understandable.

Overall with the relaxed nature of this article with humour, it encourages the reader to find out more about the band as they come across as casual and funny everyday people that we can relate to.

DRAFT 4- FEEDBACK AND TARGETS

FEEDBACK FROM SCREENCASTIFY

 

FRONT COVER:

  • take a look at general integration of text and images on page and ensure there’s no distracting overlapping or awkward spaces eg- star image in relation to ‘Homeland and origin for the unconventional’
  • main cover-line, focus is on ‘New album’ at the moment, shift focus to the artist as the selling point, so make ‘Tallulah Gray’ more prominent

CONTENTS PAGE:

  • captions of what’s on each page are too lengthy
  • although images should take precedence over text, don’t let them overlap to point where text is unclear, look at image of Sophie at bottom of page
  • try and avoid hyphens

DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD:

  • page numbers are too big
  • Current quote at top could just be pulled down and integrated as quote so cover line actually explains story
  • again avoid hyphens

A NEW IMPROVED DOUBLE PAGE SPREAD

Here is my new double page spread that I have made and changed. I further worked with the colours and adding strokes or layers and ended up with a gradient stripe through the page to add depth and tie in all the colours. I also integrated a smaller image of my model in the text and framed it in the columns. I also varied the colours present on the page and used them to differentiate question from answer.