Feedback on Article

This is my article on the double page spread of my music magazine. I chose to write my article on my main cover star based around her winning the X-Factor and her struggles with mental health issues. I felt that these were appropriate topics as many pop-stars are very open/have strong feelings about mental health; many pop-stars are also well-known for winning the X-Factor. 

As you can hear in this voice recording, one of my peers (Kirsten) has read through my article and has given me verbal feedback on what I can do to improve my article/the general appearance of my double page.

Based on the feedback that I received I have made some targets for further development:

  • Fix the repeat on the right-page, middle column, top paragraph.
  • Shift some paragraphs around and try to make all columns on the right-page end around the same place.
  • Some words are repetitive, use other words instead of “I asked”. Instead of using this, I could use: “I questioned”, “I quizzed”, “I inquired”, “I queried”.

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