in consultation with my group and teacher we have come up with these elements for improvement for final draft.

• Extend the first clip to eliminate black screen
• Add shot of ben and Brandon together at bus stop so its more cohesive
• Change band shots to be bright and lonely shots to be dim, dark and sad
• at one minute  and four seconds, change/cut down clip as he breaks the fourth wall.

after making these changes we have our final draft-

What has changed from draft two?-

Peer review feedback-

• Location for band performance is very good, the graffiti and the other stuff on the wall create a good setting.
• The shots that reflect off of the glasses are very unique and work well in terms of creativity.
• Good tracking shot at bus stop.

• Black spaces need filling, narrative needs a proper conclusion.
• Lip Syncing could be more in sync with the lyrics.
• More variation of MES, as well as shot techniques (particularly at bus stop).
• Don’t really get the shot of the Xbox friends list.
• Some of your shots were quite shaky, you might be able to reduce the shakiness in post production or I recommend re-shooting some of them
• Needs a bit more editing, whether that be to make it smoother and edit on the beat more, or add in some cool effects which would still fit with the music video
• Can see the reflection of the cameraman at bus stop.

Targets for improvement in draft 4-

After taking into consideration, peer feedback and what I know myself must improve in the music video I can conclude that

• we needed more shots to fill in the black gaps (we now have more shots ready for the next draft)
• more shot techniques showcasing different mes (have filmed and will be in next draft)
• more editing, this is valid as we have not edited much of the music video, instead trying to order the clips etc.
• change shots where cameraman can be seen in reflection

This screen casify, done by my media teacher that  illustrates her teacher feedback, and any improvements she feels we should make at this stage.

To summarise the video;

The sequencing of ben being bored needs to be put together a-bit more logically. We must make sure we add the shots of Brandon being bored along side ben to help tell the narrative. Lots more close ups and match on action eg pov’s and doing tasks.

Targets for next draft;

• Change the first scene of ben to a shot where he’s making a direct eye contact with audience- looks to ambivalent.
• Continuity eg ben has glasses then the next scene he doesn’t.
• Switch the first scene of his head against glass at bus stop with the long shot, this allows for the scene to be set then the next shot be a mid shot then the close up in that order.
• Close up of the bedroom guitar scene along side the long shot- also put all these scene with he bed rolling around shot.
• Bed rolling around shot- aka more of a montage as pillow comes out of know where.
• Include establishing shot of playing the cards to put with the scene of the cards falling over.
• Take out the weird zoom in and out, looks rubbish.
• More match on action.
• More close ups.

This is our music video draft two. Although not too much has changed and it’s a very rough draft, with draft one we have made some changes and since the first shoot have had a lot more scenes to play with. However we will defiantly have a draft 3 and 4 as we still have one more shoot to complete.

In relation to the marking scheme-

Technical skills;

• We have used a tripod through out and although some camera movement is deliberate some isn’t as appears shaky so we need to fix this in editing or add different shots.
• Our shots are engaging and have good depth of field however we have failed to use things such as the rule of thirds.
• I already know we need more close ups as we have to many static shots which makes our video boring, After adding our close ups we will have a good variety of shot distances.
• As far as video effects we dont really have any right now as we plan to add transitions at the end, however we have filmed physical transitions to add in which in my opinion can be better then editing transitions as they give you more  control and opportunity.

Media conventions;

• When discussing Mise-en-scene, I can definitely say that our choice of locations, costumes and juxtaposition of happy and sad  with and clearly reflects the indie genre and represents clear meaning in the narrative.
• In addition, I think our editing to the beat and how we have synced consistency which reflects the rhythm of the movement.

After evaluating my music video under the PSW assessment criteria, I now understand that;

• We need to film more narrative to complete the story line and fill out the video, while taking into consideration variety of shot angles, eg close ups.
• Add in the shots on top of the bunker at the end of the video
• Make sure our shots our synchronized with the music.
• Try and shoot with the idea of rules such as, the rule of thirds, to keep our shots interesting.

As a class we had an excellent opportunity to have 30 minutes with a skilled professional from supersavers, we used this opportunity to receive feedback, advise and seek out there opinions which might help us.

The feedback we were given was-

• More even spacing between shots for example if a narrative shot is 5 seconds the next performance shot should be 5 seconds. this helps with continuity.
• With our shoot tomorrow we asked what advice hw would give and what were missing, he suggested more close ups and use th gimbal for shots and not to film any static shots, to make our video more interesting.
• I asked him about any advice for transitions on the computer however he suggested to do physical transitions as they look a lot more natural, specifically suggested a tracking transition where by something moves in the screen and transitions into something else. I will watch YouTube videos to help me come up with interesting transitions anyhow to do them.
• When discussing colour to show continuity in the video he suggested to lock white balance on the camera which will help with this.
• Lastly he suggested that we watch YouTube videos to help us understand how to effectively use pieces of equipment such as the dolly.

After this experience, I came up with a shot list to use in our last shoot tomorrow, he expressed again how important a shot list is so following his advice a created a shot list with every shot we need to do.

Shot list- Brandon and then Brandon and Ben 23/09/21

• Close ups
• Extreme close ups 

• Movement through the screen
• eg walking or something more fast pace or jumping, completing a task, eg getting food as friends, throwing, sitting taking selfies together 
• Tracking shots using the gembul 
• Interesting transitions using the gimbal- see blog post for youtube video
• Coloured shots when ben and Brandon become friends

For our shoot two we have created a risk assessment to not only outline any risks we may come across but also so we know where we need to be when and who with. This ensure everyone in my group is on the same page. As this shoot is taking place in Brandon’s house there’s not many risks we could encounter, however this is still and essential form to complete before any shoot.

This is a production meeting agenda for our second narrative shoot. this helps us as a group understand our intentions for the shoot and who is responsible for what.  I have includes some photos from the shoot

This is a rough look at a variety of shots  showcasing our juxtaposition themes of loneliness/ sadness and happiness/with friends. It demonstrates  the structure and framing in which we have and are planning to film them in-

There are many locations and angles we plan to use and have used. we made this story board to ensure we do not miss any out, I’ve left room for shots we are going t do but aren’t exactly sure the scenes of yet. however I’ve also included shots we have done; for example we filmed and xbox scene which included id shots and close ups,  also a bedroom bird eye shot showing our star in emotional distress. we also plan to extend thes scene and do a moving POV shot across the bed. we also included in the card scene, a close up of the cards falling over.

Something I did not include in this story board but will definitely next time is ensuring this done before filming scenes, not during and that the scenes are in chronological order either by where they will be in the video the order we film.

This will make my life a lot easier as our group will have a more structured plan of what we will film and when. Its important to stay organised as it allows you to get the most shots in a set amount of time. It would have also helped us visually show what would normally be a  conflict; disruption, resolution and equilibrium however our narrative doesn’t follow all the steps as its more abstract.

After deciding this moodpboard  was not detailed enough I decided to create a detailed visual shot list-

Bedroom

• Ariel shot of ben in distress, toss and turning
• ben lonely playing guitar- this goes in with the performance as they perform together throughout so juxtaposition of him playing alone then to playing as a band

Bus stop

• ben alone putting in headphones walking to the bus stop, have him on the left
• then a shot of Brandon coming to join him from the right
• shot reverse shot of each of them
• a exit shot of them leaving together

outside

• tracking shot of playing table tennis between them, bright day light

Lounge

• shot reverse shot of the boys to show there having a good time laughing with eachother
• wide angles of clicking cups
• close up of each of the boys

To ensure an organised shoot new have written out a narrative sheet outlining our aims, hopes and the story arch eg, the structure of the start, conflict, resolution, equilibrium and disruption. This helps us efficiently in a linear way.  We’ve also outlined where filming will take place to ensure no confusion between our group members.