Evaluation of previous students work

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This is a previous students work, my task is to review (using the success criteria) and learn from their experience. Below is one example of each success target from the music video:

Holding a shot steady

In terms of shot steadiness I would put this previous students music video, in terms of the level ladder in Upper level 3. The performance aspect of the music video clearly uses a tripod to maintain a steady shot, and throughout camera movement is used to enhance the narrative (make the fighting seem more realistic); although in shot such as 2:45 the camera is inappropriately hand held and shaking.

Framing a shot

I would give a Lower Level 4 for Framing a Shot, there is a variety of frames that appear well composed, creating visual interest; and ultimately an end product that looks professional. For example at 0:15 the two stars are both comfortably inside the wide, two shot, and have lead space. The overlay text, added later in edit is perfectly sized, not cutting into either actor.

Variety of shot distances

Lower Level 4 for the huge variety of shot distances. In both the fight scenes and the performance section, there are wide two shots, close up reaction shots, medium shots and low angle powerful shots. These assist in character development and make the video visually engaging. Personally I found 1:53 to be a great example of different shot distances making the performance section more visually interesting.

Appropriate to task

Upper Level 4, because this music video has a clear aesthetic and is clearly conventional to its genre. The actors are outstandingly directed, their emotions and stage combat is really believable and exciting to watch. The video really amplifies the meaning and lyrics of the song, a moment where this is clearly done is 0:36.

Mise-en-scene selection

The performance section has fantastic makeup, that makes the actors appear alien or “super-human” making the narrative consistent. The two fighters are dressed in appropriate, badass clothing, so the audience is instantly aware of their intentions and tension is instantly made. Obviously very thought out mise-en-scene, which is why I award this music video a Upper Level 4.

Editing for meaning

There is fantastic editing in this music video that significantly adds to the narrative and meaning. 0:29 is an example of amazing after effects which emphasises the video-game setting of the narrative. I would award Upper Level 3, as there are a few small continuity errors, but a fantastic sense of pace and the different ’rounds’ introduce a clear sense of progression in the story line.

Shot transitions

In this music video the transitions from narrative to performance are very quick; this amplifies the pace and action of the video. More creative transition would have improved the video greatly, however the initial and last transition, moving in and out of the arcade cabinet are outstanding! (0:00, 2:56) I would give this student a Lower Level 3.

Sound with images

The video is synced really well to the sound of the music. Especially at 0:27 when the ‘power-up’ occurs at the same time as the rising sound effect- fantastic. As the song increases in speed, so does the cuts and movements, however there were occasionally delays- so I would say its a Lower Level 4 tier.

Advert.

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To create a realistic, practical and aesthetically pleasing magazine, using the online software ‘Issuu‘ I would need another page. So to conform to the conventions of magazines I’m going to add two full page advertisements, next to the contents page and on the next page. I had to choose appropriate advertisements for my target audience. Below I have gathered a few which I thought to be genre relevant. I decided to use the Oreo advertisement, as it is bright, targeted at young adults and this particular advertisement included makeup and references relationships, which is extremely relevant, interesting and controversial to my audience.

I also decided to use a cancer research advert which will please a large demographic because of its positive message; displaying the magazines compassion and ethics.

Penultimate Drafts

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My three Penultimate Drafts:




Final Teacher Feedback:

Summary (/ = Tried):

  • Change the image of Megan on the cover to a close up/big close up- to have a better variation in image types and create more enigma. (kept)
  • Could try having a clearer accent colour on the DPS. / (liked and kept)
  • Caption all images- fulfill integration of image and text. / (kept)
  • Re-proof read my article – Language. /
  • Price and date by bar-code on cover-looks like a professional magazine. / (kept)
  • Could try having the pug on the cover page in all caps- font size reflect genre.(tried, didn’t like)
  • Change the Roman Numerals to normal numbers- better reflect genre. (kept)
  • Change font to younger, jazzy type face, on contents page- reflect tone and genre. (kept)

Feedback On Article

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Click HERE  to see the draft of my double page spread article.

Summary of peer Feedback-

  • I need to inform the reader quicker about the articles subject matter.
  • The sensory description is really effective, paints a vivid image.
  • More quotations would be effective.
  • Interesting and easy to read.
  • If about the corruption of Hollywood, mention examples (contrast with beauty of English countryside).

 

Article Idea Development

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Article Idea Development

Who are you writing for?

Im writing for my target audience of males and females, aged 18 to 24, at the lower end of the social scale, with an interest in controversy and music.

What is important to your audience?

Understanding the personal life of the artists and rebelling against all social norms, which they like to see their favourite celebrities doing as well.

What news is currently trending?

Award show controversy and how the film, TV and music is corrupt. How rich people are getting away with terrible things.

How are you going to start?

I will need to use colloquial language start with a sensory description and a stand first to intrigue the reader.

To a large degree I believe I have addressed the audience’s uses and gratifications. I insist this article is a source of Personal Identity, as it reflects the readers opinion of how corrupt and damaging the music industry can be. This is certainly Entertainment as it is hyperbolic, Surveillance of a ‘hidden’ world and provokes Social Interaction with other fans and music enthusiasts.

Language Analysis

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My chosen article to analyse is a interview from the music magazine ‘Billboard (June 20), Adam Lambert: Don’t Look Back, Shirley Halperin. The interview is about Adam Lambert finding his place in the music industry and its is set in a Hollywood penthouse, allowing us to know the location of the interview makes it seem informal/personal.

There is a very obvious presence of a journalist, this is because of their use of an opinionated and positively biased perspective, this is evident in the terms “kick-ass”; making this a comment article. The audience are likely to think kindly of the artist after reading. The media text opens with a stand first which is short, but creates an interest in the article, and implies a successful and complex star persona by listing. Then a sensory description of the star sets the mood for the interview, as well as the setting.

A large amount of quotations are used to make the interview seem more personal and real. Many of the quotations are embedded into sentences, and are scattered across the entire article. The mode of address, such as “run around in circles chasing our tail” is informal, which leads the audience to believe this is a very natural and real story.

Adam Lambert comes across in this article as the pinnacle point of accepting sexually ambiguous artists onto the music scene. His presence is depicted as modern and original– someone to look up to. Later Sam Smith is mentioned, another gay artist, this makes Lambert appear partly responsible for Smith’s success. Mention Sam Smith also makes Adam Lambert appear well connected and ‘current’. Through this article the reader is experiencing the struggle and story of sexually ‘abnormal’ artist succeeding in the music industry, and this stories effect on the current state of our society.

In conclusion the star is represented as influential, through the journalist’s writing. Below is a link to the article I was analysing:

 

My Work In Progress

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I have now created all three of my pages, I have attached the drafts below, where I have acted upon feedback for my magazine, however, I am not yet finished perfecting them.

 

Draft 3 – the double page spread

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I have created a super vibrant and exciting double page spread draft, which I believe nicely displays my increasing skill and development in the editing software Indesign and Photoshop. This work combined with the article I will soon produce, this will have been successful!

Peer Feedback

For my double page spread I gathered some peer evaluation. They said the lighting around the artist was cool, interesting and gave the artist a “hippie”, “natural” vibe and a personality. They highlighted the effectiveness of the leafs matching the colourful drop shadow I had photoshopped behind my star; stating that the chosen and enhanced colour scheme was prominent and powerful. My artists Mise en scene was applauded for its relevance and textures.

To improve the double page spread a peer suggested to fill the gap in the bottom right of the page; use the eyedropper tool to make the pull out quote boxes fit the colour scheme (same as costume?)

Teacher’s Feedback:

Summary of Mr Gregson’s Feedback and targets for development:

  • Don’t have headline of article running behind the star; I can easily move that to one side.
  • The fonts are good, and the pull out quote in box eye catching, but don’t do twice.
  • This is the most successful page, which I think displays my progress, as this was the last of the three pages I created!
  • Possible move star onto a different background- I have an idea for the article for this page which will relevant this current background, which increases the “hippie” vive.

A new and improved double page spread draft.

Changes I have made:

  • I have added a note pad-like section to my double page spread, which was quirky and seemed to flow with the page- I really like how my masking has left some of the foliage creeping onto the page.. A visiting editor insisted that the readers require many different sections to delve into; this section I decided would provide reader, who wasn’t familiar with Megan to gain background information, and interest about the rest of the article.
  • The criticism I was presented with suggested I had the title of the article didn’t go behind the artists head, so I moved it and came up with the simplistic, dramatic and interesting “this will kill me”, as the article’s title.
  • I added faded boxes behind the text (which I will decrease the spacing between), this made the page seem more professional, and sectioned off. After doing this I decided the pull out quote boxes no longer fit onto this page and removed them, opting to place a text wrap around the quote instead to break up the paragraphs.
  • The tweet at the bottom of the page, I edited to look like it was Megan’s account. I did this to make the story seem important and current. This also makes her seem influential.

Draft 2- Contents Page

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This is the first draft of my contents page.

I would assume when considering buying a magazine a customer would flick to the contents page to see if any of the articles interest them, and if the artist on the front cover, or one of their favorites has a big part in that issue. For this reason the contents page should be dynamic, and include the same artist as the front page, or at very least their name.

Feedback

My peer said the font I had chosen was “genre relevant” and absolutely “legible”; the inclusion of a “message from an artist was really nice and effective”. Cutting out the face of my artist and placing other images inside was a “really good idea” is good, and the drop shadows added create a “3D effect, which looks really cool and intriguing”.

However, for improvement, they also gave me some constructive criticism, and said the side font was “too serious” for my genre. They liked how the shadow around the contents title matched the pink dots on the artist face, and suggested I could possibly “match the blue dots with something as well”.

Teacher’s Feedback:

Summary of Mr Gregson’s Feedback, and my targets:

  • The DTP is interesting with the layering; it “almost works” and I can move and substitute the chosen images of Megan (my second model) to make this page flow better.
  • The different colouring of the lines is effective, however having the text running over her hair isn’t a convention and I’ll have to experiment with the text’s placement.
  • Megan isn’t the main emphasis of the context page which is appropriate because she has a double page spread about her.
  • Change the font and placement of the contents list, on the right.

What I have changed:

  • I’ve moved the images from the artists face, onto her hair, as suggested by teacher feedback. These images have boarders, which make them stand out more. I’ve also selected a different image of the star looking inwards. A visiting editor informed us that an image should always either look outwards or inwards, since its natural for the reader to then follow their gaze, and therefore read on.
  • I’ve added an opaque column down the side of the page, which lists the different articles, as I’ve seen this done several times in professional magazines, and is my favourite part, that improves this page.
  • Using colouring to highlight the the article’s title, and adding a by-line.
  • I’ve removed the title “contents” and opted for a “Find Inside” title instead, which I believe is more interesting.
  • I felt the background, contrasting with the cover page needed a bright, photo background.