Draft 6

 

 

TARGETS

  • Brighten image on front cover
  • Adjust writing for contents page
  • Make image of duo smaller or change image

What have I changed

Front cover- I decided to change to remove the plug next to the model’s head as it looked messy

Contents Page I completly changed the whole image of my two models as it just didn’t look right at all and it wasn’t how I wanted it to look, it looked messy and rushed and I disliked it. So I used an image of my male model wearing sunglasses and then layed it all around him, you can see the new Contents Page on my home page. I also used the bold and bright colours to my advantage and decided to stick with a white background so that they could juxtapose and contrast each other and it had a positive outcome overall.

DPS- I changed the colours and font for my caption line, and then centered the writing for the whole article so it was all in place.

I decided to really focus on my front cover and my contents page as I really wasn’t satisfied with the end result and they just didn’t look right so I am glad that I decided to touch up my front cover and completly change my whole contents page.

What I will change before my final draft

Front cover

  • Change writing on the side
  • Make plugs more brighter

Contents Page

  • Change image
  • Add websites on the side
  • Bring all the writing closer so there isn’t as many gaps
  • Add in another image of a different model
  • Add page numbers in
  • Add shapes in like the ones on my other pages
  • Add captions

Advert

The adverts below are the ones I will be using in my music magazine.

Adverts are a necessity in a magazine as they pay to get the product featured in magazines. I have chosen adverts which fit in well with my genre of my music magazine. The first ad is tour dates from the talented Dua Lipa her genre of music is pop so I thought it fitted in well with my magazine, she is a demographic of my magazine. The second ad is a famous, trendy makeup brand named Anastasia Beverly Hills they are very popular and are the talk of young girls makeup collection so I thought that this brand would fit in well with my demographic audience and they would possibly chose my magazine because of the adverts.

My dating profile is of a typical pop genre reader. We created a dating profile of my typical target audience reader to show the audience that we are researching and finding more information about my target audience is mainly females aged 9-18 which means that my music magazine has to be suitable for children so that they can read it without their parents having to worry about if it is suitable or not. My research concluded that my target audience likes things like food, makeup and social media and there dislikes are outdoors, heavy metal music and education.

Feedback on Article

Draft of my article

We had to write a double page spread article for our double page spread for 500-800 words with lots of exciting information about my models, then once I had finished I uploaded it to the classroom and then I received feedback from my teacher and then redrafted it to improve the article. I then got someone in my media to read my article out loud so I could make sure that everything made sense and it had been fully checked properly and had no typos, grammar and punctuation, they then commented on the language that I used and reviewed it.

Peer voice memo-

Targets from reader

  • Change typos
  • proof read

Language Analysis

In order to be able to write my own article for my double page spread of my music magazine I analysed a existing magazine article and talked about the linguistic features which are in the article and my opinion on what they were saying.

Article – Billboard Magazine, Adam Lambert: Don’t look back, Shirley Halperin- June 20th

Structure- The article is an exclusive interview with Adam Lambert.

Presence of the journalist- Throughout this article, the journalist is never actually referenced to, meaning they are not entirely present within this article. But, the reader is aware and can acknowledge the presence of the journalist as it is written in third person, this is shown through the use of the pronoun ‘his’. This connotes that somebody other than Adam Lambert himself would have obtained the facts for the writing.The impact of this is that the article feels very personal as if you are sat down with Adam Lambert and you are interviewing him and he is explaining his story to you.

The Language and Aim- The headline/masthead displays alliterative language and plosive sounds, with the repetition of the harsh ‘d’ sound juxtaposed with the prolonged ‘l’ sound in the text, this keeps the reader’s engagement within the text as the persuasive technique makes the headline short and catchy enough to lure the reader. Alliteration is present multiple times throughout the stand first and article itself, with the sibilance ‘sweet spot’ engaging the reader through its rhythmic sounds it portrays.

The article is very truthful and is real as sensitive topics are tackled from what he finds to be ‘scary’ and ‘frightening’ to how he can be ‘more comfortable with himself and his vision’ suggesting the article is empowering but sensitive at the same time. This is important for the reader as not only are they engaged with the story, but they may take something away from it as well, it seems inspirational and memorable which could make a difference and change people’s lives and perspectives on him and the music industry.

Another language that has also been used is emotive language as a persuasive technique in the interview when Lambert says ‘It’s hard for me to be happy’. This pulls on the audience’s emotions and possibly their heart strings with these emotions they are causing the reader to be curious as to why he feels that way he does, making the reader want to keep reading through the rest of the article about him.

The names of celebrities that have been put in this interview in bold to stand out against the rest of the text is’ Caitlin Jenner’, he says that even though she is no singer or music artists he is inspired by her going through the trasition of from a male to a female and the light of fans and the media supporting Caitlin as Bruce and hoping that everyone would understand and support her through the trasition. This draws the target audience’s attention up to date names and information, as well as giving us information into the star’s personal life and revealing his hobbies and what he dislikes in life.

Representation of the performer- The journalist allowed  Adam Lambert to be represented as a empowering individual through the use of various techniques. He is presented to be someone who has overcome his fears with a positive outcome in life which is inspiring to his fans and readers of ‘the beat’ magazine. A wholesome star image has been portrayed of a Pop star who is not stereo typically selfish or stuck up, but someone very confident who has a real authenticity about their persona.

 

 

Draft 4 Feedback and Targets

Please click to see the embed of the screen castify

Summary of what I need to do know

Front cover

  • Change background of frontcover
  • add more pugs
  • move writing around so it looks better

Contents

  • Remove part of the brick and enlarge the models
  • Gradient the yellow so it blends
  • Add more writing and align the writing so that its all going one way

Double Page

  • Put the page number back on the page and make them more exciting
  • Add a byline
  • Change images around as all same and won’t help it look like a pop music magazine.

My Work in Progress

What’s new and what needs to be changed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • The masthead used to be bright and colourful but it looked too childish
  • I have zoomed in on the picture of the model to make it look like a front music magazine cover
  • The photo too dark/purple so need to think of a much better fitting background
  • Cutting out of her hair a bit clunky?
  • Fonts all different sizes and line spacing.
  • Add some shadow on the pugs and slant?
  • Watch the proximity to the bleed area of the edge of the pages

  • Have completely changed the picture as it was not fitting in well with the backgrounds and didn’t match
  • Cover lines need to be aligned better and need more.
  • Could add an editors comment.

  • Model needs re proportioning…too thin.
  • Organise columns as all different widths.
  • Use the orange flare elsewhere on the opposite page in an contrasting colour?
  • Not sure about the pink background so changed it to orange.
  • Add more zing and sparkle to make it stand out
  • There wasn’t enough images so I added 2 more

A New Improved Double Page Spread

Peer Feedback

  • There is quite a lot of writing which would make it harder to read my DPS and less easy to follow for the audience.
  • They wouldn’t be interested in reading a lot.
  • Maybe consider finding a better background that fits in better with the theme that I used
  • Use a variety of photos

Changes I’ve made

  • Pink didn’t fit in well with the blue diamond page so changed to orange
  • Put writing around the picture of the model
  • Added an outer glow to my captions on both pages
  • Added in another picture to the right and changed the picture on the left as it fitted in better

 

 

double page spread draft 2-rnwyon

Draft 3- The Double Page Spread and Feedback and Reflection on Draft 3

This is my draft for my double page spread

Some of the questions I will ask my peers as I will need feeback andf targets for my development in work. Here is the feedback I received.

Are the media forms present that are conventional for a DPS – byline, standfirst, columns text, page numbers, drop capitals, headline?

The media forms are present that are conventional for my DPS;

  • I don’t have a byline yet which is a neccessity for my DPS as otherwise the reader will not know who has written it or a standfirst as it is only a mock up of my double page spread. I have included columns and texts throughout my work to show that the DPS has been broken up into sections and it is easier to read for the audience. I have included my page numbers at the bottom of my page but could possibly be moved or changed to make them a bit more fun and less boring. I have not included any drop captials which I will include in my next DPS but I do have a headline on one column but still need to work out what I am putting on the other one.

Is the layout considering where the fold will be in the DPS?

  • yes the fold has been considered in this DPS as I remembered to put in my columns and grids.

Does the image create enough visual intrigue for the reader to stop turning the page and read more?

  • The 2 images that have been used in the DPS does create enough visual intrigue for the reader to stop turning the page and read more as I have used bold block colours throughout my DPS, on the left I also a diamond and put it to the back of my model and enlarged the pictures to show that she is a star and should be the centre of attention, I have used 2 very different pictured of the same star to make it more interesting to the reader but like my peer also said as well to make the column on the right more interesting as they liked the layout but they suggested I made it more interesting.

Does the language and register in the headline create enough interest for the reader to commit to reading the copy?

  • I have not completed all of the writing of the DPS but so far my peer said that she liked the writing and the language I have used as alluring but suggested that for the other insert should be short, sharp and catchy as the insert on the right is quite long so there should be a juxtaposition and contrast between the two inserts.

Create some targets from the feedback and amend accordingly.

  • Complete the writing for my DPS
  • add byline, drop captials, standfirst
  • decide what caption should be and if I want to move the layout of my model on the left

double page spread draft 1-17jyulm

What a DPS should have on it?

An article that takes up 2 pages and includes copy and photographs. It is usually the ‘centre’ two pages of a magazine and will usually feature the main cover star from the front cover. In other words, it is the main story of the magazine.