Draft 6

Please click on the images above to view my updated front cover, contents page and double page spread.

Here you can see I have altered my magazine quite a lot; changes I made on my front cover are:

  • I added a main cover line as well as changing the layout of some of my text.
  • I made my pug smaller and therefore the text within it.

Contents page changes:

  • I changed the subtitle colours for contrast however I may need to change it back for legibility.

DPS Changes:

  • I moved the background image to ensure the fold was not near my model’s face.
  • I also altered the ‘Jude Robins’ text to try centre the flower detail.

I need to make sure to add a byline onto this page to make it more conventional of a double page spread.

 

Feedback:

  • make pug smaller on front page
  • add a byline

 

 

Draft 5 Work In Progress

Below are my new and updated front cover, contents page and double page spread:

 

As you can see a lot has changed from my last draft.

Front cover: 

  • I added in the real text, ensuring I consider my cover lines and genre.
  •  I tilted the text in my pug to add interest and differentiation to my front cover.
  • I changed the colour of my flower silhouette as to make it stand out more.
  • I also did all the things in which the screen castify recommended.

Contents Page: 

  • I tried to fade background however the image lost it’s quality so I changed the main image to make the text more readable.
  • I changed the text colours to make it more readable.
  • I moved the text closer to edge on lefthand side and lined up the text with ‘I’ in Iris
  • I also added another image however I feel don’t need it.

Double Page Spread: 

  • I made the page number smaller
  • I wrote more in byline
  • I made the drop capital bigger.

To improve my pages I will take into account my peer feedback and continue to work on my pages till I am happy.

Some things I want to work on:

  • Exclusive insight goes in quote space
  • Pug smaller and different content
  • Move coverlines up
  • Fleur Dane goes big
  • Sort hyphenated bits

 

Feedback on Article

My first draft of my article went well; yet common feedback I received was to adjust the language I used and not over complicate the answers. Once taking on board this feedback – here is my new drafted article.

 

Here is my article on my DPS: 

Here are some friends reading my article:

Here are their comments on the article:

“Your language used is sophisticated which represents your genre nicely.  I really liked the article as it was engaging as a result of the varied questions.”

Targets for Development:

  • Check spelling
  • Make sure all punctuation is correct
  • Ensure the new updated article is on the dps

 

Article Idea Development

Before writing my Q & A article about ‘Jude’ (a well-known indie pop artist), it was recommended that we write a hook– this is the information given by the writer to the editor in order to allow them to write the article. Here are the questions in which are included in the hook:

  1. Who are you writing for? I am writing for Iris magazine, an audience interested in the indie pop music genre, and people who are interested in the life of ‘Jude’ .
  2. What is important to your audience? It is important that the audience gain a full insight into Jude’s musically influenced life, therefore the questions asked must good enough in order for the artist’s response to allow this insight. I would like to include the artist’s beliefs, aspects of their childhood and music career. 
  3. What news is currently trending? I would like to include that my article is performing at the upcoming Brit Awards and therefore means that they are in the current news.
  4. How are you going to start? I will start may article with a brief introduction about my artist, their successes, before going into the Q & A. 

Language Analysis

Before writing my own article, I will analyse ‘MAGAZINE NAME (11 July 2017), Cash For Questions: ALT – J, Paul Stokes ‘ in order to inform and inspire me in creating my double page spread article.

The structure of the article is a Q&A, made apparent by the bold and normal text: “People have criticised alt-J for being nerdy. To dispel that, tell us the worst trouble you got in at school.Luke Goodachre, Stowmarket      Joe Newman: I wasn’t a troublemaker at all. I didn’t like getting told off.”

The article itself highlights a weak presence of the journalist (Paul Stokes) within the introduction “It seems a fitting location for alt-J, here to play in the grounds as part of a summer series of gigs.” – there are no first person personal pronouns therefore the journalist is not personalised or made apparent. Yet there is a strong presence of Alt-J’s fans with questions directly from specific people and their location (made obvious through bold red text –“Janet Felstead, Kelsey”) further on. Additionally, the article is written in third person until the Q&A section in which is written in first person “I heard an interview where you said you wanted your music to be like “chewing gum that doesn’t lose its flavour.” That’s not very ambitious, is it?”. The journalist then used direct address ‘I’ and ‘you’ to personalise the questions asked by fans; this ensures that the readers feel directly involved in the questioning section as the questions are taken from normal people like them.

The location of the Q&A is unrecognisable however it is understood that Alt-J members are all present through the clear and varied responses to each question Joe Newman: I wasn’t a troublemaker at all. I didn’t like getting told off.Gus Unger-Hamilton: I copied my friend’s homework and denied it. It was a shitty thing to do. My friend and I were no good at Bach”. The language is colloquial and informal such as “sh**ty thing”  constructing a laid back and relaxed view of the band for readers. This informal language links closely with the irony of rock genre of the band and their very light-hearted geeky impression. Alongside this, there are a number of comedic elements “Perhaps a grilling from the Q readers might uncover some previously hidden rock’n’roll bad behaviour, then…”, adding to the conversational tone meaning little similes and metaphors were needed to be used due to the already interesting content. A number of humorous quotes are featured on the image page: “Books? How quaint…” alt-J (from left, Gus Unger-Hamilton, Thom Sonny Green, Joe Newman), Trinity College Dublin, 11 July, 2017.”as well as the introduction, introducing the band in a fun light. Furthermore, the reader will feel calm and involved whilst reading the article as a result of it’s upbeat and lighthearted nature.

Paul Stokes represents Alt- J as quirky and kindhearted, through the tone the article, allowing the reader to have a brief insight into the member’s lives and personalities.

My Work In Progress

Front Cover 

The above is my most recent front cover, in which I have barely changed other than the pug; I made text smaller so it did not go outside the border of the pug and updated the cover line to match my double page spread. Obviously I need to complete the full text of the front cover.

Contents Page 

 

Here is my most recent  contents page: no changes have been since my last blog post due to my double page spread taking priority.

Double Page Spread

 

As you can see, here is yet another draft for my double page spread; I have changed the format of the images as well as the text. This has taken into consideration the split in between the two pages and visual interest for a reader. I also adjusted colours in which am I still not content with which is something I must improve alongside adding consistency to column sizes and gaps.

Draft 4 Targets and Feedback

Here is the link to the screen castify in which was made to give feedback on my most recent drafts.

Here are the targets to improve on:

Front cover:

  • change iris flower to make it more visible
  • put information in text places, and move the draft section further away from the masthead
  • no hyphenated words
  • spelling of exclusive
  • centre the text in the pug
  • don’t specify date
  • rotate font in pug

Contents Page:

  • bit busy, fade background – cute star out, layer on top and add transparency to background to make text more legible
  • on left handsome maybe swap darker and light colours to make more readable
  • close to edge on lefthand side, line up text with ‘I’ in Iris

Double page Spread:

  • make page number smaller
  • write more in byline
  • make drop capital bigger
  • stand first longer
  • maybe make images bigger

I will take into account all this feedback for my next drafts.

Feedback & Reflection on Draft 3

I decided to gain some feedback on my first draft on my double page spread to ensure I create the best possible fitting for my genre.

 

  • Are the media forms present that are conventional for a DPS – byline, standfirst, columns text, page numbers, drop capitals, headline?  Yes all are included were relevant.
  • Is the layout considering where the fold will be in the DPS? No but can be easily fixed.
  • Does the image create enough visual intrigue for the reader to stop turning the page and read more? The picture are eye catching and the varying font sizes are intriguing. You could experiment with different images to see what is most eye catching.
  • Does the language and register in the headline create enough interest for the reader to commit to reading the copy? I feel as if this is something that could be worked on to be more interesting and engaging.

Targets for Development:

  • To experiment with other images I have taken to create the most engaging double page spread possible.
  • Work on the headline for interest.
  • Try a different layout in consideration of the fold and readability.
  • Maybe try a new colour scheme.