That was my voice memo for my music magazine article. I feel that there is a lot of things I could now change.

For example:

• the quotes I use to entice the audience
• the grammar
• the flow of the article
• the harshness of the topic
• the message that I am trying to get across
• the punctuation

Feedback:

This reads well generally Imogen but I would refocus the drugs aspect and also spend more time and detail on some specific music details i.e. awards, artists and some more detail on the new album and what it is called etc with a release date. Remember there is always a hidden agenda for any artist being interviewed.

Perhaps reorganise the opening too so that you set the scene for the interview and watch the tenses too….you also have to put her story into context….i.e. Naija was prepared to reveal all in this frank relaying of the past few months. This is what she told me…word for word as we met for a smoothie at her latest favouritre health food bar….or something like that…

Bit of work to do but you have broken the back of it.  Once you have redrafted this then you can put a version of it on the blog.

Targets:

• Be more gentle with the situation since it is touchy
• Phrase sentences better
• Make more of a message for the fans