Teacher Feedback And Final Targets

My targets for improvement were:

  • Fix the spelling problems on Contents page
  • Alter the layout of the Double Page spread – make the quote not go over the models face, and alter the text on the bottom – too low.
  • Add another photo to my front cover, to balance out the juxtaposition

I have tended to all of these possible improvements and made changes where required. I also did add another photo to my front cover.


Image result for Shoe ads

I would use this advert as Hip Hop and modern fashion go hand in hand, It’s just a part of Hip hop culture and shoes are at the peak of it, more so sneakers than other types of shoes. Therefore this advert would fit in perfectly in my magazine. Unintentionally, the colour scheme of the shoes fits in with the colour scheme of my magazine, this just adds to the reasons why I believe that this advert would fit in with my magazine.

My target audience are fans of the genre, this would mean that they would fall to stereotypes of the genre to some degree, therefore I feel confident in the fact that this advert would fit in well in my magazine.

Image result for Music ads rap

I would also put this advertisement in my magazine as the artist produces music of the same genre as is the base of my magazine genre – Hip-Hop. I feel that this would fit in well as the artist produces music similar to real artists mentioned in my magazine, as well as this artist is quite popular himself and has a dedicated fan base, this would just add to the reliability that this advert would fit in my magazine.

YouGov also can reinforce the legitimacy that these adverts fit in my magazine, the target audience for the product, my magazine and the music is very similar and even crosses at interests. One of the interests for my target audience was specifically the rapper that is featured on the tour advert, this conveys that the advert would fit in well with my magazine. The same goes for the shoe advert, it’s a popular interest of my target audience, according to YouGov, therefore they would be implemented seemingly.

Feedback On Article

My classmate commenting on my double page article.

He made some very valid points that I will need to look into and alter. Some of the things he talked about included:

  • Punctuation – first paragraph could use an extra comma or two
  • The story is a bit hypocritical – It is good that this was pointed out, as when I was making the story I had not realized this. I talk about the character being humble, yet some of the quotes I use state the complete opposite. It was suggested that I change the tone of it, maybe not as straight forward humble nor the opposite.

I will go through the text again and improve my article based on this feedback. Overall, the feedback I got back was very positive, he said he really liked the overall tone and the layout of my article. The language that I have used was also complimented as it fits the agenda of the magazine.

Article Idea Development

This is my first plan for my article on my double page spread. I felt that an interview would be the most intervenable type of content that relates to the target audience of this genre. I researched some articles in the genre and found that most of it was QnA type of content or interviews, which were always the big, central article of the magazine. Because of this, I thought that an interview would be a great addition to my magazine.

The audience’s needs from this article would be relatability, someone who’s humble and has had a tough upbringing, almost like a fictional tale just in a life form. I made a story which I feel will fill these needs quite justly.

Overall, this is just like an brainstorm, more note making type of draft.

Language Analysis


‘Q Maverick (September 2017) James Lavelle, by Dorian Lynskey.’


This is an biography. The article feels like it was done with the journalist being present. This is displayed by the structure of the article – it switches between the journalist describing the story based on the quotes given by James Lavelle, and the journalist describing the story of James Lavelle. The way that it comes out, it seems that both participants were face to face in the creation of this article, yet nowhere does it state that there was a face to face confrontation.

From reading this article, I got the feeling that the journalist was questioning James Lavelle right in his office, I got this feeling from a specific line in the article stating ‘ he says over cartons of Korean food in his manager’s office in Camden’, this created a visual set piece which I could imagine the location looked like, but again, the article does not state anywhere that the two men even met.


Expletives are used in the article to create a sense of personalization – to make the person in the article more relatable, a bit more ‘normal’. This creates a feeling that James Lavelle is also just a ‘regular’ person, this also connotes well with the article itself as it discusses the fact that he wen’t bankrupt and had to get back up again – making mistakes like any other person does. This can create a bond between the article and the reader, making it more intriguing.

The journalist addressed the audience as if he’s telling this as a story to his friends. The style that he has chosen to write this article is done in a elegant yet simple matter, as the text does not read like a tabloid yet can be understood just as easily.  An example of this is ‘By 2003, however, his star had plunged. Mo’Wax was dead and Lavelle was in debt to the tune of £270.000.’, this extract is simplistic but it has relevant information.

The Experience

By reading this article, the reader experiences some of the best and worst fragments of James Lavelles’ life, as he goes from ‘The Boy Wonder’ to a bankrupt artist looking to make his way back up.

In conclusion, this article discusses the more public fragments of James Lavelles’ life. The article includes information about James, It’s also quite an entertaining article, discussing his private party. It was also quite intimate as people might relate with the situations that James has endured, whether it might be the climb up, the fall down or anything in between. It is informative as it discusses Jame’s life and it’s entertaining as well because of how interesting this article is.


Draft 4 Feedback And Targets

From this feedback I have learnt and understood what other improvements I can make to my work that would make it even better. I do agree with the feedback given and on the points that are suggested for improvement, and therefore I will make the appropriate changes to my work.

These changes include:

  • Adding an extra photo where appropriate, or create a space for it to be appropriate, as the minimum amount of pictures needs to be four and I only have included three.
  • Adjust the text on my double page spread as it looks a bit ‘blocky’ and just not quite right, I will do this by inserting actual text instead of just ‘Sample Text’ to see how I can improve it.
  • Changing the font colour on specific places in my double page spread, as in some spots it’s not quite visible.
  • Adjust the shapes in order on my front cover – some boxes aren’t aligned equally.
  • Seriously consider changing the order of the Model photos, maybe move the contents page star to the front cover.
  • Adjust the lighting effects in the double page spread for a more felt effect.
  • Adjust some minor symmetrical issues

Draft 3 – Double Page Spread

This is my first double page spread draft.

Feedback from peers:

  • Like the fade in and out
  • Maybe colour the subheadings the same as the tittle
  • Maybe make the quote stand out more
  • Like the colour combinations for the text and the rest of the layout

Targets for improvement:

  • Address the feedback above
  • Maybe get some more feedback
  • Look and compare to existing products and see how it withstands

This is my improved version of my double page spread. I addressed the feedback given to me and made improvements. I changed some fonts to be bigger, bolder as well as changed the colour as well.





Draft 2 – The Contents Page

This is my first draft of my contents page, I will add to it as I get the photos from our location photo shoot.


Feedback on the page so far:

  • I feel like there should be a bigger title
  • I think you can make the features a bit bigger
  • I really like the colour contrast; it stands out and is eye catching.
  • Some of the words are overlapping the model
  • Use models from the location photo-shoot to fill the page up more
  • The wrapping text needs improvement

After taking in this feedback, I now know what improvements I need to change in order to make a better product.

  • Some textual improvements to the page, e.g. make the ‘Contents’ bigger and alter the text so it does not overlap the image.
  • I might also change the images – just to see what effect it creates.
  • I also might add some pugs and plugs here, but I will see how it looks on InDesign before I make a final decision.
  • I will also use some photos for inserts from out location shoot.
  • The wrapping text needs sorting as well

This is my new and improved contents page.

I have changed my contents page completely after the location photo shoot. I felt that this photo was much better than my previous one. I overall feel that this photo conveys my intended traits, such as rebellious and urban more than my previous one. Naturally I also changed the fonts because of the image change to adjust to it proportionally. I feel that I also adjusted the other problems that my first draft had like the spacing issues and the visibility of the text.

Overall, I am extremely pleased with my new contents page.