This is a screencastify made by our teacher, where she watched our video and made comments. So, I have summarised what she has said, and this is it:

  • When he is looking at the picture frame she wanted to see an over the shoulder shot of what he is looking at.
  • She liked the pull of focus on the antagonist whilst he was hiding behind the pillar.
  • She liked the use of editing in making our shots look creepy, but thinks we can do this even better in post production to really pop.
  • She liked the timing of the picture smashing but wanted to see a shot of the picture smashed so the viewer knows what is being smashed and who the photo in it is of, as it isn’t clear.
  • At 1.20 there is a shot that is too long and doesn’t fit with the theme we have done of quick editing that we established before. She talks of the quality of some of the mid-shots, but it is just her computer as they came out fine on my footage.
  • She would like to see us cut to other shots whilst she is singing, as every lyric is covered with shots of grace singing when it doesn’t need to be.
  • At 1.38 and other points in the video we hadn’t adjusted the aspect ratio to make it full screen.
  • Our teacher pointed out that 1.51 Grace looks into the camera, so Mia and I will fix this by cutting the shot slightly.
  • Our teacher would like to see some close ups of the shots of grace playing with her hair
  • She doesn’t like the handheld camera shot we got of the antagonist behind Grace, and it would look better if he suddenly appeared, or if there was more build up in the narrative of his presence.
  • She pointed out we can’t repeat shots, and there is a repeat of grace slinging her hair back in slow motion
  • In the fight scene it would be better if we incorporated more of a struggle.
  • Could look cool to get a close up of the blood on the mask.
  • Would have been good to get a close up or even slow motion of her dragging the hammer across her face.
  • When Bilal is on the floor we could get a better shot, maybe a dolly going backwards from very close up to show the effect of the shot.
  • She loves the final shot and thinks we need to make it longer, and maybe incorporate a shot of her laughing or walking off afterward.

In Conclusion:

  • We need more long shots, as there aren’t may in it currently and need it to get marks for a variety of shot distances.
  • Would love to see more close ups to establish the enigma or the tension.

Mia and I will both work together to get these comments fixed, and we are capable of doing this. I will need to converse with my partner of whether we need to re-shoot, because we do not have some of the close ups that our teacher thinks would make our video better. However, she thinks we have done well for a second draft.