New Storyboard/PMA

Once we had realised we didn’t have enough shots and that they didn’t fit with our performance shots we decided to go back to the drawing board and re construct the story board to try to ensure that the narrative was more fitting for the genre and more obvious to the viewer.

Draft 4


This is draft 4 of our music video, we added the black and white effect on the performance scenes and a red over lay to the shrine scenes. I think these changes had a really good impact on the video, it helped distinguish the different settings. We also included more of the beach shots, these are portrayed as flashbacks and I think it adds more depth to the narrative.

Targets for improvement:

Peer feedback:

  • likes the fast edits at the start.
  • She understood that the character was in distress.
  • She liked the shots of the flame where it moves across the frame.
  • She thinks the bit of the performance where the performer spins round when the word spin is sang is effective.
  • She liked the jump cuts of the girl coming towards the camera through the urban, tunnel area.
  • She liked the juxtaposition of the flashback beach scenes and the darker shrine scenes.
  • She pointed out that some shots were too shaky and that it was a bit distracting, however she understood that it fit with the genre but needs to be stabilized still.
  • needs to increase the brightness on 3.27 shot so can clearly see the lip syncing.
  • doesn’t like the bit where she shakes her head in the mirror at the chorus.


  • 1:53 shot of lips needs to be edited to black and white effect.
  • Shots need to be stabilized in premiere pro e.g ~(0.22) , (0.30) (0.41) (1.02/3) (1.11-13) (1.23)
  • The head-banging shots  in the mirror need to be replaced with different footage, maybe including flashbacks and performance.
  • One of the shots is too dark and needs to be brightened se we can see more clearly whats going on.
  • 2.41 there is a black screen which needs to be replaced with footage.


Audience Ideology


This is a dating profile of someone who would have an interest in our chosen music  genre which is alternative rock. The details that are included on her page are generic ideologies of the expected fans of this type of music. In order to find out about our target audience I did some research on you.goc to explore the demographic of our audience, I took the information from there to turn it into a dating profile with qualities and aspects that are typical for of the alternative rock genre fans.

It is esential that we identify and understand our demographic and audeince so we can alter our products in order to appeal to them. Stuart Halls’ reception theory touches on how there is a certain dynamic that you can reach such as preferred, where everything the audience receives they enjoy and like because they value the ideas encoded in the text and they fit the genre conventionally.

This is a dating profile of someone who would associate themselves with our music video genre which is alternative rock. These details that are included are based off generic ideologies of the fans. I did some research on to explore the demographic of the audience who enjoys our band music from “Pvris” and who enjoy alternative rock and I took the information from there to turn it into a dating profile with qualities and attributes that are conventional to fans of this style of music.Overall the demographic I chose to focus on was female on this dating profile, and she is edgy, anxsty.

It is important to understand our demographic and audience so we can alter our product so it is received well. Stuart Halls’ reception theory touches on how there is a certain dynamic that you can reach such as preferred, where everything the audience receives they enjoy and like because they value the ideas encoded in the text and they fit the genre conventionally. We want our music video to be in the preferred category so that is where audience profiling and understanding our audiences desires is important. Furthermore if we fail to understand our demographic we could slip into the category of “oppositional” where what we have produced is too unconventional to the genre and the ideas and encoded values don’t inline with the audiences values so they reject them.

Music Video Draft 3

  • Our peers seemed to enjoy watching our video which I am pleased about and they also gave us some useful feedback.


    • The mis en scene works incredibly well with the genre of music that we chose and it really helps to depict the character and her emotions.
    • The narrative was clear to the viewer
    • The jump cuts and fast pace work well with the music and genre.


    • Make sure we take out the shot at 1.09 to 1.11 where our performer isn’t looking at the camera.
    • Clean up a few shots by slipping them shorter.
    • Include more shots of the candles and her lighting them I order to set the scene.
    • Make sure that the lip-syncing is in sync.
    • stabilize the shots.
    • include more pull focus shots.


    Whats changed:

    We have changed our music video a lot from the last draft, we had a whole new shoot for the shrine scene which was a whole new video to add depth to the music video. We also took out most of the beach shots as they seemed to just confuse the narrative and failed to portray it clearly to the viewer. However we kept one beach shot right a the end to suggest the character may have taken her own life or just let go of her frustration and anxiety over her past relationship. We removed a few performance shots as the performer was not looking a the camera or if the lip-syncing was not sufficient.


    I am very pleased with the progress of our video. It has come a long way especially with the whole new shoot. There are still a few things we need to sort out in order to create a cleaner, well rounded music video, we need to sort out a few glitch effects and edit to the beat closer.

    We sent our music video link from our youtube to our peers to evaluate and comment; These are their comments and targets.

Feedback from teacher



  • She likes the jump cuts.
  • She enjoys the fast paced shots.
  • The walking jump cut where Hollie walked through an alley towards the camera.
  • Likes how when the lyrics are “world spin” the performer actually spins.
  • Likes the outside shots.
  • She likes how the beach shots juxtapose the performance shots.
  • Loved the close ups of the eyes.


  • First singing shot should be full face not just lips.
  • When singing she should look at the camera.
  • SHouldn’t have quite as many beach shots.
  • We should give the eye close ups more screen time.
  • Feels the connection with the camera is uncomfortable.

Music Video Draft 2 Includes Narrative

Self assessment and what has changed: We have now added in various narrative shots and left blanks where we are hoping to incorporate our new ideas. We are quite happy with the lighting, editing, and head camera shots and jump shots which pick the pace and add to the genre. I like the portrayal of the two different aspects of the star. I think that the star has a really compelling look that works really well with what we are trying to achieve.

Targets for improvement: We are going to establish a clearer narrative with our new shots to suggest why the girl is depicted in such a paradoxical way in the metanarrative.

Shoot Evaluation (Narrative)

Our narrative shoot was initially perceived as a success and we were pleased with how the day went and all the shots went the way we planned although we knew we were going to have to have a second shoot to gain some more footage to polish it off, the weather was good considering this was an outdoor shoot and we worked well as a group and we had all the necessary equipment including spares and had learned the lessons of our previous shoot.In particular our model was excellent and the costume she wore worked well with our initial  concept. However, when editing our footage with our performance shots, the two did not blend well at all and it did not convey the message or genre clearly. We were going for a contrast but not to this extent: our performance was edgy, emo and aggressive where as our footage was of a pretty girl on a beach. We were trying to show her painful emotions and the battle within which she hid beneath a soft, pretty exterior, but this simply did not come across to the viewer without an explanation which is inappropriate.

So in brief what I would like to improve on is:

  • Add in extra scenes to convey the message more clearly.
  • Our storyboard we had put together was quite brief which caused a problem on the day, as our narrative ended up being too thin, so we had to create a new story board to provide extra narrative detail.
  • In the future  we should spend longer on the planning and on the story board to ensure that we get all the shots that we need in the time that we have.
  • Although we had used the camera before we did experience technical difficulties with the tripod as it would not accommodate certain angles so we had to improvise as shown below. To avoid this in future we will test the tripod before taking it out and this would be part of our planning ahead of the shoot and we need to maybe link our equipment to our storyboard.

We are going to re film with new concepts and ideas and our target for the next shoot is to ensure that out narrative is congruent with out performance and successfully fits the genre.