This is our screen castify from our teacher. She watched our video and picked out the things that she liked, and the things that she thought we could improve.
The things that she liked were:
- The pull focus of the antagonist whilst he was hiding behind the pillar.
- She liked the final shot of the victim. Maybe we could elongate the shot, or get a shot of her walking off, or laughing to make her personality more clear.
The things that she thought I could improve were:
- When he is looking at the picture frame she wanted to see an over the shoulder shot of what he is looking at.
- She thinks that we could make the shots look more creepy in post production.
- She wanted to see a shot of the picture smashed so the viewer knows what is being smashed and who the photo in it is of, as it isn’t clear.
- At 1.20 there is a shot that is too long and doesn’t fit with the theme we have done of quick editing that we established before. She talks of the quality of some of the mid-shots, but it is just her computer as they came out fine on my footage.
- She would like to see us cut to other shots whilst she is singing, as every lyric is covered with shots of grace singing when it doesn’t need to be.
- We need to adjust the aspect ratio to get rid of the black border around the shot at 1:38.
- Our teacher pointed out that 1.51 Grace looks into the camera, so Jordan and I will fix this by cutting the shot slightly.
- Our teacher would like to see some close ups of the shots of grace playing with her hair
- She doesn’t like the handheld camera shot we got of the antagonist behind Grace, and it would look better if he suddenly appeared, or if there was more build up in the narrative of his presence.
- In the fight scene it would be better if we incorporated more of a struggle.
- Could look cool to get a close up of the blood on the mask.
- Would have been good to get a close up or even slow motion of her dragging the hammer across her face.
- When Bilal is on the floor we could get a better shot, maybe a dolly going backwards from very close up to show the effect of the shot.
- We need more long shots, as there aren’t may in it currently and need it to get marks for a variety of shot distances.
- Would love to see more close ups to establish the enigma or the tension.
Jordan and I will work on these targets, but we may have to re shoot as we do not have enough shots. however, she thinks we have done well for our second draft.