From our previous feedback, we took this into consideration and made sure that the narrative makes sense and the colour correction has been used appropriately. Furthermore, we replaced the shot of the drummer at 1.28 to a different shot of him drumming so that it was in time with the beat of the song.

This is our draft 2:

We recorded two peers giving their opinions of our draft 2 and what we could improve, here is the video:

Likes:

• Dramatic lighting compliments mood of the song
• Genuine and believable narrative
• Effective transitions
• The word ‘telephone’ is illustratively linked in the narrative
• Believable performance
• Variety of shot angles are good
• Link between performance and narrative when the performance is being playing on the TV in the narrative shots
• The time lapse and the colour of it works well
• Good balance between good and bad times in the relationship
• Editing to the beat was done well
• Instrument syncing was in time
• The balance between good times and bad times in relationship has been thought out carefully
• Pianists emotion whilst singing is realistic
• Effective montage due to slow motion in areas and seeing the characters reactions

Improvements that could be made:

• There is still flickering on a shot which needs to be re-inserted
• To ensure all the lip syncing is in time