This is the final draft of the music video, I think that throughout the developing stages of the video it has improved significantly from the first draft as it is cleaner and more effective.
What has changed?
Many aspects of this music video have changed in order to make it cleaner, sharper and more understandable to a target audience, from getting feedback from peers and teachers we removed many of the transitions from shots and brought it down to using two specific transitions to make the shots less confusing and overwhelming. Ultimately making the video more powerful and giving it significance as it is simple and easy to understand for audiences.
We edited more shots to give a greater impact and allow stronger interest in the video from the audience, we changed some shots to make them less repeated throughout the video and fixed the continuity error in the video. A very important part that needed changing was the beginning and ending quote, for this we changed the font and added stroke to it making the words much more impactful.
I have extremely proud and happy with how the final result has turned out as i think it powerfully conveys the narrative and message that we wanted to give to a teenage audience, the music video should be something that teenagers can understand and relate too possibly. By creating and designing a full narrative video we have understood the importance of a story that is understandable, and the creative ideas needed to make the shots and editing work together to give one message. Although the music video is completed for now we could want to change some aspects in the video as time goes along if we think that some changes should be made to improve our music video.
Video of comments on video
Comments from peers
Quote needs to be cited and last longer for audience to absorb the meaning, shaky movements is in contrast to pace of song it is effective. Eye shows how the audience sees the video through characters’ eyes, some shots linger for too long and could be cut shorter, good editing and choices of effects, using editing to create sense of confusion. Stairs are metaphorical and seemingly endless, not sure of direction. Use a few more effects to show dazed nature, focus effects on specific lyrics to have more of an impact. Good use of odd angles and effective cinematography to create confusion, have more an effective arrival to the place of significance, need more time to absorb event. Very well designed shots and angles and significance of events, maybe place quote at the end of the video. Tempo matching of song needs to be used and diversify the energy levels in the video to give more importance to specific moments.
Create tempo matching
Create different energy levels
Cut out quote at the beginning and leave it at the end
From getting feedback from the teacher, we made multiple changes to this third draft of the music video, we made the narrative clearer to understand and toned down on the editing techniques so that it was less confusing and intense. We then effectively separated the stairs and naturalistic scenes by linking the stairs with her mind and the tension in her head, by doing this we made it clearer to what was going on in her head to what was happening outside and in her life.
By having the beach shots at the beginning and the end of the music video it gave a cyclical structure to the video showing that she got to the place of serenity she wanted to get too at the start of the video. We made the stair shots more effective by including more interesting angles and sharper shots that were clear, we sorted out the continuity error in the video so that it all made narrative sense. Overall I think this third draft is a major improvement from the second draft of the music video as it is easier to understand and watch.
5 Comments from Peers/Audience
Getting feedback from peers and the audience is very important to know what to change and alter for a better draft, it is important for a music video producer to get feedback so that they can improve the video for the target audience. With this personal opinions we can do another edit on the music video and do major improvements on the narrative and editing for the final draft.
good variety of angles used in the video
effective shot composition
good variety of interesting effects
video is visually appealing
maybe slightly less transitions
video can look too busy at times
title text could be centred
use a more artistic font e.g typewriter style
good overall story
plot line is clear
more possibilities of match shots
good overlays with sunset
many shots are repeated
some transitions are disorientating
Targets for improvement
use a more interesting font for introduction and ending
Some shots are not clear so maybe look at export settings for the next draft, perhaps overusing the shots of the sea and the sun as it is used so much. Create the sense of a beautiful serene place for only the starting and ending, the quote at the start is effective and links to the themes. Effective graphic match at the beginning, booking ending sequences, introduce the character in the narrative earlier so the narrative is more understandable.
Confusion with the wall and sea shot, why is it significant? Some shots are over edited, some shots perhaps need to be slowed down with dissolves. Use technique of going into her eye and her mind, her point of view, make the stairs more prominent that they are in her head. Have more shots of her working and her running, effective cutting feet on stairs. Look at continuity shots, make the story link together and make sense, make sure the shots are in focus. Look at the shots of reverse running, and lovely shots of the stairs.
The music video is over produced, the beach and sun really connote the idea of safety and haven but the over layering is too much, running works alone without the overlay of the beach. Add it more into the start and beginning of the video, cut between running and school life keep the beach more separate. Keep the beach shots still and clean, no movement in those shots, trying to do too much metaphorically. Separate the beach and stairs, shot of sun to eye then the stairs to reflect what is in her head, have an internal logic of the video. Tell the story in phrases not all at once, get some other people to review the music video, get other opinions.
use cleaner shots
keep beach shots separate
do not over edit shots
keep it simple
make the shots link together
add the idea of in the mind and in the point of view of the girl
On Thursday the 17th and Friday the 18th of September we had two visitors who were Specsavers creatives, come in and give us advice about how to improve on our music video, as one of these visitors watched our first draft he gave many points that could improve the quality and emotional tone of the narrative.
The feedback they gave was that the first draft cut was very effective and used interesting shots of the girl and portrayed the themes of failures, he stated that we needed to focus on making the stairs look even more abstract to juxtapose the naturalism of the school scenes. With improvements on what we are trying to portray to an audience and a clearer narrative in the video we can make it look extremely effective.
This advice that one of the creatives gave us matched with what our teacher stated about making the difference between the beach to the stairs and school clear to the audience so that nothing is confusing, they both said to use interesting shots to get the narrative across but do not overcomplicate the editing, keep it simple and effective.
think about angles and composition
use more interesting angles
emotions within shots
make it confusing
remove the context
make it feel like just stairs
be selective with stairs
keep it graphical
make shots seem confusing
pick a barrier and a door
List of new technical and creative ideas
use barriers to compose shots
use doors to give context
overlap shots in editing
edit the shots in effective ways
make it abstract
make the shots very graphical
smoothly edit together shots for flow
make the transitions smoother
Here are two youtube videos that would help with the second draft of our music video due to the effects and visual techniques they mention:
Here are a few shots from the second shot of the stairs in town, we got many more better shots with improved angles to clearly display the narrative of the music video.
Looking back on the first draft of our music video, I can see a clear significant improvement with tones and emotions within shots. There are many more interesting angles and camera shots that effectively link together to create an effective narrative video. I definitely feel that the narrative and story in the music video is more distinctly portrayed to the audience, with the different scenes of the abstract stairs and naturalistic shots within school really give the idea of stress and anxiety as the angles work well in conjunction to the shots. The editing effects on the shots are very effective as they portray the feeling of chaos and stress to the audience, the contrast with the stair movement and stillness of the school scenes create a balance of tension and emotion.
I think that the editing for this second draft is much more effective than the first one, we worked harder to achieve a sense of confusion and loss to the audience getting them to understand the anxiety and stress through the angles and shots. It helped that the second stair shoot was much more successful than the first as we knew what we wanted to get out of the shots, the dynamic of stairs, school and sea blend together well to create a sense of ambience that contrasts well with the jarred movement of the stairs and running.
In the next draft of the music video I wish to include a better sense of the narrative as I still think that the narrative is not as clearly shown to the audience as it could be, so that will include adding in more school shots mixed in with the stairs and sea.
Targets for improvement
Include more shots in the school
create more interesting shots with editing
use a wider range of shots
play around with editing and effects in premier pro
In this shoot the girl is dressed in the same clothes as on the stairs making the creative intentions clear and linking to the abstract and realistic shots, every aspect in the school shots is very realistic helping to set the tone of failures and struggles in school helping it to be more relatable to a target audience.
By using my camera for this shoot we put the camera in simple positions for some shots but for others we changed the angle of the camera to get a more interesting of the scene, for many shots we placed the camera on a tripod to get a simple and focused shot other times we had a mirror in front of another mirror to get an interesting shot for effect and to show emotion. Our performer was very good at acting so we managed to get very powerful shots that display the emotions we wanted to for this school shoot, we asked her to display emotions of stress and to be overwhelmed and anxious for all the shots. This way we really got to explore the range of facial expressions and emotions she presents to the audience in very effective ways along with the camera angles.
The shoot at the school for the naturalistic scenes went well, we managed to obtain many useful shots that can be used effectively in the final cut of the music video. By filming six scenes within the school we managed to get many different types of shots and emotions for the final cut, each shot was successful and has its own mood and tone that fits the music video perfectly. By using the props that related to each scene made it look even more naturalistic to fit the narrative of the video, making the shots successful.
For the final shoot on the stairs we will use the tripod more often to help get focused and steady shots, we will get more interesting and abstract shots to help provide the tone for the music video in the stair climbing scenes. More interesting angles will make the video appear more exciting and immersive for the audience to watch, giving a powerful effect of the music video.
The targets for the final shoot of the music video:
The aims for the shoot are listed in the document below, the main aim for the shoot is to film scenes for the naturalistic part of the music video. The scenes will be within school to represent the everyday struggles the character in the narrative has to deal with.
Below is the storyboard of our plan for a filming session, this will include the scenes within the school where the female character struggles with her school life representing how many teenagers struggle in school due to stress and relationships. We hope to include effective shots and interesting angles to help make the scenes more emotive, this will help to portray the feelings in the narrative to a target audience.
The range of shots we will use to communicate the narrative to the audience we range from close ups to display the emotions to tracking shots to give the tone of stress, the different shots will help to connote the emotions in the different scenes and build up the stress and anxiety in each shot so that the target audience can understand the character in the narrative.
Our music video narrative is 100% narrative and will be a mix of anachronic and parallel scenes, as the story portrays life struggles and scenes within a school of the female character struggling with daily life. The two different scenes will link together as the stairs will be abstract while the school scenes will be naturalistic, throughout the video the tone will get brighter as she climbs the stairs and reaches the top.
Throughout the narrative in the music video her emotional condition will slowly improve as she climbs the stairs and reaches the door at the top into success, at the beginning of the sequence the girl is struggling with her life and the situations it comes with. As she climbs the stairs throughout the video and runs to reach the positive her emotions slowly become more positive as she self reflects on her life and gains a new confidence to run for the success she desires.
The door at the end of the video will represent her final success and overcoming the difficulties she faced in her past, there will be changes from present to future as she desires to be in her brighter moment in life. This music video is very symbolic of life and how everyone has the go through the same experiences to get to the top of the metaphorical staircase that we are displaying in this music video.