I think that , for my first essay, it went really well. I got 21/28 marks which is pretty amazing to be honest. As my first draft, I didn’t think I would do as well as I did. One thing that I learnt from the feedback was the length. A few of my paragraphs were a bit too long and so in the future I need to condense them further and make them more to the point.
Another thing I need to do next time, based on the feedback, is go more in depth into the themes. I chose to use a pretty basic, simplistic theme for this essay which was good vs evil which isn’t exactly what Pan’s Labyrinth is about. It’s more about the theme of Disobedience however I didn’t really go into that theme.
I think overall there is still a lot of room for improvement, however it was a very good first attempt.