The Third Draft has arrived!

At this point we have created three different, unique drafts of our music video for you to see of the song Charlemagne by Blossoms. We haven’t made too many changes in this draft, however those that were made we think have a great impact on the footage.

Changes we made in this Draft…

One of the changes that we have made that are apparent in this video is the increase in visual effects. This helps to create more meaning for the viewer to unpack and understand as well as providing more eye candy to keep them hooked on the video to make them watch it until the end! We have also added in more footage into this draft, particularly at the end to help manufacture a more complete story arc, helping convey the meaning in the narrative of the video more easily.

The image you can see above is a snipping tool of some YouTube comments from our third draft of the music video, giving us some constructive criticism to take into account, aiding us in creating what will be our fourth draft. At this point, I think that it is crucial we get some feedback as it gives us other peoples perspective on what we have made, picking fault at things we ourselves understand perhaps only because we are the ones who created it. Therefore this is a good idea as after all we are not the ones that need to be fulfilled by this video.

Looking at the comments, the general consensus is that the narrative of our music video is particularly hard to understand in some areas, and therefore I think that this might be because of the amount of visual effects we applied to apply more meaning to the narrative which may have perhaps confused the links between different shots. Therefore when we create the next draft we should add even more footage in the gaps to make the narrative slightly more obvious so it can be easier understood by the audience.

The comment by Lucius points out that there is a lack of emotion throughout the performance on the lead singers face. This can be amended by tweaking already existing video effects to try and emulate the stars emotions so the audience have the ability to decipher more meaning.

Another collective concern was that the lip syncing of the lead singer was off at certain points, which after looking back is also present with the guitarist at moments such as 0:43 seconds in where the guitar strums slightly before the note in the music. This can easily be altered by stretching the footage out so you can edit shots to the beat more precisely.

Personally I think that we should work on cleaning up some of the blur on some of the close-ups of the lead singer at the start of the video as well as making the zoom at 2:02 slightly slower so that the viewer has more time to take in what is happening on the screen.


HP Reveal on my Double-Page Spread

Recently, I have been independently finding out about an app which can be downloaded from both the App Store and the Google Play Store called HP Reveal. This uses augmented reality to create visual interactivity with the users smartphone to project an image over select features of a piece of media to give the user entertainment and further understanding of what they are using. This has been very important for me creating my music magazine as I was struggling to find something that really linked into the Blumler and Katz theory aspect of escaping daily lives, however I think this fits in very well.

Below you can see the part of the double-page spread on the left which must be scanned in the app in order to see the image on the right with all of the 6 images pop up. If you would like to try the software, you must download it off of the app store or google play store on a capable device, and then sign in or create an account and scan the image. To see a high definition version of these two JPEGs, click on them to see a higher quality PDF.

There is also a video representation below of what happens when you scan the image which can be seen below this comment.

The very Final Drafts!

Above you are able to see the up to date, mostly finished drafts for the four pages of my music magazine. In the most recent draft, the final bits of feedback have been given to me by my teacher in the form of a document that I have uploaded a picture of below so you can see what has been changed. Please also take heed of the fact that for an unknown technical reason, my double-page spread appears in the preview you are reading as being slightly faded, however you can see the untainted, high definition PDF of the double-page spread and all the other pages if you click on them.

There were a couple of changes that the teacher said I could make which I didn’t actually include in the most recent draft as I think that they are unconventional of my genre. One of these changes, was that the teacher suggested I used the spot-healing tool on Photoshop to heighten the complexion of my model, however it is conventional of the indie pop genre that my magazine is based around, to stay clean and as real as possible and therefore should have their features altered as little as possible. The other thing that the teacher said she thought I could change that I didn’t go through with, was changing the font from sansserif to serif. It is also very conventional of my genre to have a sans-serif fonts which I know from looking at other music magazines from the same genre such as the ‘Indie‘ magazine.

So I have had a think about possible adverts that I could use…

I have compiled a couple of A4 high quality advertisements that I can use in my magazine in order to reflect and relate to the target audience of my genre. That way, if it relates to them they are more likely to buy the product, making more money for the business.

This is a good advert that could be seen in my magazine, as it has many of the conventions included in it associated with the genre of indie pop. The typeface on the is one of the biggest conventional hooks to get the reader in as it reads; ‘nothing fake about ’em‘. This resonates with indie pop listeners as a big part of indie pop is that the subject matter is about being real and honest, and having your own take on things. The popular indie pop artist Katy Perry is also featured as the cover star which could make the reader be more drawn to the product knowing that someone who relates to them uses it. This could be said to be more of a pop advert, hence  ‘Popchips‘ as the label however it still holds these connotations.


I think this an advert which is very good at appealing to someone who listens to indie pop music because of the choice of words in the cover line. It reads; ‘creativity has no boundaries’, which jabs at one of the psychographics of a typical follower of indie pop of being someone that likes to be independent and creative with what they do, often having a different take on something to most people.

Please bare in mind looking at these articles, that I have not had any part in creating either of them neither do I own them. I am using them simply identify what type of advertisement I could use in my own magazine and are not to be assessed.


Some more Feedback on my Article!

Here is a small clip of my classmate Elliott reading my article aloud to check for punctuation, grammar problems and typos. Below that you can see his verdict on the article giving some feedback on how I could better the article for my next draft.

Below this, you can see targets for improvement that Elliott gave me after reading out my article.

  • You could Put FACADE In apostrophes/ Speech marks
  • The use of Slang and embedded quotations gives a personal tone, encouraging the reader’s interest in the article.
  • The Biography article seems like an interview, for example ‘he said before taking a sip of his Mocha’, This suggests that the journalist in in an interview with Taylor as he is commenting on his actions after asking specific questions, It suggests that the journalist is with Taylor Rather than writing about him.

Almost the Final Draft of EVERYTHING

I have almost finished all of the drafts for pages of my music magazine, now it is just the final fine details that need to be found and corrected. Since the last work in progress post I have made a lot of progress with my work after I was given feedback from my teacher on what I add to perfect my pages, which can be seen below. All of the changes that were made since my last draft are based on those detailed in the post titled, ‘Up to Date Draft Feedback + Targets’.

In brief, the changes that I have made to my pages are:

Front Page – plug moved to the right a bit as well as having the amount of words reduced, together with the insets so that they do not interfere with the bleed lines and stand out more. The masthead has been moved to the left to make it more conventional.

Contents Page – I put labels on the insets so that the reader can tell which page the mentioned artists can be found on. I also made sure to change the cover lines for ‘FACADE’ as before they read as ‘Facade’ which didn’t fit in baring in mind every other mention of the name has it written capitalised.

Double-Page Spread – The quotes were made slightly smaller in order to give myself room to move them away from the model a tiny bit. The article was moved up a little bit however the standfirst took up much of the space that was in question previously. I moved the photo credit underneath the smaller photo of the artist in order to make it more legible and easy to tell who the credit is relevant to. Finally I changed the drop capital so that it was on the first column and not the standfirst.

If you would like to see a high quality PDF of the pages click on them and it will take you to an external page.

After this set of drafts, we gave our 4 pages to one of our peers from the other class to have assessed and be given feedback on so that I have another set of things that I can change to improve my drafts. The peer feedback can be found on the Google Doc that is embedded below.

Article Feedback Time!

I have gotten to the point in the development of my magazine where I have managed to put a copy of my finished article into the double-page spread.

The reason that I have put the article into the DPS so fast is because I needed to make sure that the redrafted text would fit into the space that the original article fitted into as well as to make the article ready to be peer assessed by one of my classmates in a future blog post.

To give you an idea of what features I used to add something to my typeface, I changed the font of the stand first to SignPainter to indicate the purpose of the text. I then also made sure to add a drop capital to indicate the start of the first column.

If you wish to see the previous draft of the magazine, you will be able to find in a previous post. There is also a full PDF of the double-page spread to boot with article can be found if you click on the image below.









Up to Date Draft Feedback + Targets

In this post I am going to look at and note all of the targets for improvement that my teacher has given me in the screen castify which can be found at the bottom of the post.

Front Cover

  • Move the plug of artists included on the left side of the page to the right a tiny bit so that it doesn’t interfere with the bleed lines as much.
  • Move the masthead down the page a small bit so that it sticks out more from having more space around it.
  • Make it easier to see the images in the insets on the bottom left.
  • Remove some words from the pug on the top left of the model in order to make the reader find it easier to read the pug.
  • The teacher suggested that I move the masthead to the left of the page as it is conventional of a music magazine however I may not change it as at the moment it reflects the centred look of magazines such as ‘Indie‘ which cover the same genre.
  • Link cover page to PDF.

Contents Page

  • Link to the PDF of the contents page so that it can be seen in greater detail.
  • Put a label on the insets so that the reader knows who they are and what page they are on.
  • Change ‘Facade‘ to ‘FACADE‘ so that it is uniform throughout the magazine.

Double-Page Spread

  • Move the quotes away from the model a tiny bit to fill up some of the space.
  • Move the article a bit further up to utilise the extra space that is left on the page.
  • The teacher thinks that it would be a good idea to move the photo credit further to another area which I think is a great idea. I think under the smaller photo of the model would be a good idea to symbolise that it was them who took both photos.
  • Make it so that the article has the drop capital on the first column and not on the stand first in order to make the DPS more conventional with other magazines.

Overall Targets

  • Make sure that there is a difference in lengths of shots throughout the magazine. For instance I could change the insets so that there are some close-ups and long shots on both the contents page and cover page, and perhaps the double-page spread if I can find one that is suitable.

Developing the Article

I have been slowly developing my article for my double-page spread using a template in order to help perfect the content that I am going to put into the article. This article, is going to be based around the biography of the artist that is on the double-page spread, ultimately covering the three main points of change in the life of the artist.

One big focus of the article is complying with Blumler and Katz Uses and Gratification theory. I need to reflect the entertainment aspect of the theory by making sure that there is both positive and negative events in the article in order to keep the reader engaged. This therefore must include strong mood changing vocabulary in order to wake the reader up after reading the same style of writing for a paragraph or so. The feature of education in the Blumler and Katz theory can be obtained within the article by ensuring that the reader has learnt a lesson of some kind from the artist of the article by the end of the article. This could be done by making whatever it is that the artist was effected by in earlier life, particularly emotive in order to make the reader more emotionally invested and have a greater chance of having the life lesson stick in their head.

In order to keep the attention of the reader I really need to establish a target market/audience. I think that this audience for the magazine and the article would be people aged 16-22 as the artist that the article is going to be based around, is someone who started their career in music at a very young age, and got wrapped up in trouble from being uneducated in his ways. This is very relatable for many people around the same age as him (16-22), as this is the age that many people in western society move away from home to work a job, or go hundreds of miles away to study at university. In both cases the person is by themselves with little help from anyone else to show them how to live in a new environment.




Biography Language Analysis


We are able to tell that this article is written as a biography first off, because of the fact it states in the blurb; ‘Dorian Lynskey hears his story’. It is also evident that the journalist is present because of the fact the article is written in the third person about an artist in which the journalist is listening to the artist in which we get quotes from the artist suggesting that it is the journalist writing those quotes down. The impact on the audience knowing that the journalist is present could be a negative one, as they could feel that the content of the biography created has been altered slightly (there are quotes from the artist that could have been not recorded correctly).


We gain a sense of location/events through the multiple incidences that are talked about between the journalist and James such as ‘London’s Met Bar’, ‘when he was negotiating a deal with A&M in 1995’ and ‘Meltdown festival in 2014’. This indicates to the reader that they are reading a biography as it is running through stages of the artist’s life/career at eventful points. The choice of words throughout the text is very factual listing, dating and giving statistics about events giving the reader a clear understanding of the content. Despite the fact the article is very formal for the most part, the metaphor saying that ‘Mo’ Wax was dead’ emphasises the fact that the label closed to make it a lot more dramatic and perhaps to re-awaken the reader after reading for so long without any interesting literary techniques. It is clear that the journalist uses quotes like; ‘The last 13 years have been ****ing tough financially’ as an emotive device in order to engage the reader by making them feel sympathetic to James as well as to set a tone that a lot of people can relate with. I think that there is a lesson to be learnt from James not to get carried away after you get some success, as it is just as easy to fall away from that position and start back at square one.


In conclusion, I think the journalist represents the artist as being a big shot who had a rough time in the middle, but through hard work and dedication has brought themselves back to their feet again creating an influence/motivation for those who are going through a tough time or similar experience.

Below you are able to see a copy of the article which when clicked on will take you to the original copy.