After receiving feedback from my teacher I decided to change the introduction of my article and write it in the third person in the hope that it gives the reader an idea of what the autobiography is about and give some context to the story. I also listened to my voice memo and changed some words to help it make sense and added more varied adjectives so that my article is more interesting and exciting to read.

Targets:

• Add in paragraphs for structure
• Maybe add in a concluding paragraph in the third person