I have watched the screencastify, and will summarise the feedback, and include targets of development (ToD) after

Summary:

• Change some of the editing at the start- e.g cut to Lewis at guitar riff
• Transition at walking towards camera- i.e black coat causes transition
• Long Shot from behind, cutting to different angle, and cut back to walking up stairs
• Out of focus shots
• Need Point-of-views, i.e Lewis’ perspective from going down the stairs, to up- show his exhaustion
• Some slow-motion could be added in narrative
• Some cut to close-up, i.e becoming disheveled and show this
• Danger sign cut out
• Cut, match-on-action, e.g coat falling on floor
• More lip-sync, i.e more close-ups of lip-sync
• More close-ups, e.g bin moves through the camera
• Half-dozen pick-ups
• Finish narrative

Targets of Development:

• More variety in shots; i.e; close-ups, long-shots
• Editing; cuts, transitions at better times, slow-mo
• More lip-sync
• Need Point-of-views
• Fix/cut out unnecessary shots