My draft 3 has the feedback that was suggested from our peers after draft 2, we have implemented some of the targets we set ourselves and improved the thriller in the process. Draft 3 also includes our music and foley sounds which adds to the suspense of the thriller and makes it have a more professional and authentic feel. The sounds have added suspense where it is needed and created dark sinister connotation where it is best suited e.g. the shadow at the end.

Please click on the screenshot below to view the screen recording and voice over of the feedback our teacher gave us:

The feedback is summarised below:

Not enough diegetic sound at the start to set an atmosphere. The wind whilst the characters are walking is too loud and should be turned down, could do with being replaced with something like birds chirping or just a general outdoor atmosphere. There is not enough of a build up for the main title. Not enough enough diegetic sound whilst the characters are walking. The change of pace with the non-diegetic music is good when pulling the rope. Dialogue sounds a bit distant, could do with either being louder or re-recorded. Needs more significant ending.

Targets based on the feedback we received:

  • Add some diegetic sound and the start in order to set a better atmosphere.
  • Turn down wind whilst the characters are walking at replace with birds chirping or a more general atmospheric recording.
  • Try to build up the sequence to the main title.
  • Add some more diegetic sound whilst the characters are walking.
  • Re-record or increase the volume of the dialogue.
  • Make the sign appear more clearly at the end and maybe add a sound effect to make the ending more significant.