This is my final new and improved article which I completed by doing the amendments my teacher had set me. The changes I made are:

• I changed the name of my star from “Kira Totty” to “Kira K” so it’s more easy to read for the reader and flows more in the text.
• I made the few grammar adjustments I had to change to make my article easy to read.
• Finally I changed a few phrases to make the article make more sense and making sure each topic is described in the appropriate paragraph.

From making the correct changes to my article I hope that my article is now easy to read, flows and is interesting to my reader. However, a target I have is to add a conclusion to my article so the ending to my magazine isn’t abrupt and ends quickly.