Click here to read through the first draft of my article

Voice memo

In order to make sure my magazine reads well and flows I recorded myself reading it aloud for errors:

From doing this, I noticed a couple of places where the article does not read as smoothly as I would like. This means that I can make improvements to my next draft which wouldn’t have been obvious from just reading it in my head.

Teacher Comments and targets

• seems very autobiographical
• more gossip/exclusives needed
• add a sense of conflict, gives the article some drama so the reader is interested in reading on