This is my Second Draft. I have changed a number of things, this includes –
Things to change for draft 3 –
This is my second draft of my Contents page. I have made multiple changes and additions, these include;
Some things to do for draft 3 are –
This is my Second Draft of my Front Cover, multiple new additions have been made, these are as such –
Ahead of draft 3, these are some changes and additions to make –
Below is the first draft of my double page spread. It includes 2 photo’s from my second photoshoot, my location shoot and an article. I feel like it is very basic however it hits my genre well, which is all I need, especially as it is just a first draft. After looking at it I have already seen the changes I can make to improve it and some extra stuff I can do to make it a bit more exciting. Underneath the image are some targets and criteria I would like to achieve.
These are all of my photos from my second photo shoot. These pictures range from under the market square to the bottom of the Val de Terres. I feel as if these photo’s work really well for my genre. I have used good angles and variety on my shots as well as effective mise en scene to represent my brand. We have a lot of individual shots however we also have a few duo shots which work well. The outfits and props worked together really well, they showed a clear representation of hip-hop and the link between hip-hop and basketball, which is touched on in my Article Feature. All of the shots hold different backgrounds and surroundings, some with the town and sea in the backdrop, whereas some had very minimal backdrop display yet they still worked effectively, the use of stairs and the pipes under the market.
One problem I encountered was that I forgot to give my male model a basketball jersey that would connote my brand really well, which is disappointing. However the outfits still worked well with my brand and genre and the outfits have a clear link to each other so it is really clear to see my genre. 1 other thing I could’ve done better was get a larger variety of shots in each shot, e.g looking different ways, low angle/high angle, varying the distance on each shot, etc. However at the time I went for what looked best and the photo’s I’ve got have worked well so I am happy with it nonetheless.
Above are my favourite 3 photos from my shoot. All of these possess a strong Mise-En-Scene with good lighting and exposure. They also have very decent quality. I feel as if these 3 photos would fit really well onto a double page spread together too and represent my brand well. The Mise-En-Scene connotes the hip-hop genre, the basketball and chilled out clothing. Furthermore the poses of my models connotes my genre well. They look cool, laid back. Staring down the lens, or in the case they’re not they’re showing off, spinning the ball. This shows an arrogance and coolness/swagger about them which works well with hip-hop.
Overall I feel my shoot went well, I learnt a lot looking back it, what went well and what could improve. There’s a number of things I’d do differently and always multiple stuff I’d keep the same. As it was my first shoot outside of the studio, I am happy with it and it’s a good starting point!
An Insider On ‘Barn’, The Game Changer
The soon to be superstar, Barn, has had a rapid rise to fame. He’s flown on to the music scene and hasn’t looked back since, producing song after song and consistently finding his way to the top of the charts, finding himself in the number 1 spot twice in the space of 4 months! After bursting onto the scene he has had many big labels come to him with extraordinary offers, even more extraordinary when it’s his first deal. This is something which makes it even crazier, especially when it’s all been achieved from his own little bedroom in Compton, whilst not even being signed to a label.
Coming from Compton he had a rough childhood, moving from house to house whilst experiencing drug abuse and gang violence first hand, with his first memories dating back to when he was just 8 years old. He speaks on his experiences and childhood a lot in his music, bringing a storytelling mood to some of his songs. The most notable event which Barn truly sees as a changing point in his life, is when he was about 15. He was playing basketball with a few of his friends, when a ‘gang’ pulled up to the court. The gang he believed them to be were the ‘Bloods’, a notorious gang which dates back to the 60’s, stemming from his hometown Compton. These guys were all shouting, running around, strapped. Then, they started shooting, 20 metres away from Barn, gunshot after gunshot, pure commotion. Barn was shaken; he was in shock and he stood there in awe, foolishly. Stray bullets started to spray and scatter across the court. Barn hid, kneeled behind a random car peeping through the window at the ongoing commotion, ‘I was just watching life leave bodies, bodies slowly seeping into the blood ridden floor’, to put it in his own words. He also says, ‘It lasted 35/40 mins, but it felt like hours, my heart was pounding. Once the area was cleared we immediately fled, and the amount of crippled or lifeless bodies on the floor was astonishing, every 10 metres there was a pool of blood, which in some cases was accompanied by a body.’
Barn talks about the moment as one of the most terrifying but vital experiences of his life. It made him realize that the path he was slipping down was dangerous, the constant drug use, or petty beef and fighting with school colleagues. This event showed him he needed to find an escape, and for him that was music. He knew he’d never make it as a sportsperson/athlete, and he enjoyed listening to music, so he decided to focus and divert some time towards it, hoping to make something out of it. At first he claims he only spent a couple hours per week on it, but as he got more into it, the couple hours per week turned into a couple hours per day and they just continued to increase with every song he made. Now, 4 years down the line the hours dedicated to his music are evident, the numbers don’t lie!
As well as this, we were able to ask Barn some other searching questions to get behind the mask of this enigmatic hip-hop star!
So what’s next? – ‘an album, first studio recorded album. Features and everything!’
When’s the album? – ‘soon hopefully, I already have songs ready and just need some more, we’re almost there’
Who’s your dream feature/collaboration? – ‘I feel as if over modern years the hip-hop game has changed a lot, however J Cole has stuck to the more old school style and has given me a lot of inspiration and motivation, so would have to be him’
What’s your favourite song of yours? – ‘It would have to be Sinitillate, the way I open up and deep stuff in this song is really strong, and not something I do commonly’
What are some tips you’d give to younger people coming through the hood? – ‘Try to find distractions, the hood is a dangerous place and it’s very easy to get lost in there. Be strong and resilient, if there’s something you specialize at, stick at it, be persistent. Have belief. Also, don’t get involved with any sort of drugs, they lead to more things, they’re the start of the end. Stay clean and try to make it out, because anyone can.’
We here at viZion foresee a tremendous future for Barn, he will revolutionize the rap game and take it to new heights. With all his experiences fresh from the hood at a young age his storytelling and lyrical ability is outstanding. His flow and voice also hold him in very good stead. If we don’t see at least a few Grammy’s in his cabinet in the next decade we’d be certain these awards are rigged after all. We also wouldn’t be surprised if he began to dabble in the Hollywood scene. Whether this be as an actor or producer, this is a very doable side career for Barn.
Overall, Barn is a super down to earth guy, he possesses a good vibe and has a very interesting personality. As we’ve said, we see him hitting the very top. He has some more stories for you that you can see in our podcast at www.viZion/podcast/barn.com . However from this article, take use of his tips if you’re a young man battling to make it out of a harsh area. And, be careful when playing basketball!
Below is my changed article after listening to my recording
An Insider On ‘Barn’, The Game Changer
The soon to be superstar, Barn, has had a rapid blow up. He’s flown onto the scene of music and hasn’t looked back since. Producing song after song and consistently finding his way to the top of the charts, finding himself in the number 1 spot twice in the space of 4 months! After bursting onto the scene he has had many big labels come to him with extraordinary offers, even more extraordinary when it’s his first deal. This is something which makes it even crazier, especially when it’s all been achieved from his own little bedroom in Compton, whilst not even being signed to a label.
Coming from Compton Barn had a rough childhood, moving from house to house whilst experiencing drug abuse and gang violence first hand, with his first memories dating back to when he was just 8 years old. He speaks on his experiences and childhood a lot in his music, bringing a storytelling mood to some of his songs. The most notable event which Barn truly see’s as a changing point in his life, is when he was about 15. He was playing basketball with a few of his friends, when a ‘gang’ pulled up to the court. The gang he believed them to be were the ‘Bloods’, a notorious gang which dates back to the 60’s, stemming from his hometown Compton. These guys were all shouting, running around, strapped. Some with AK-47’s, some with little pistols and some stood with machine guns in hand. Then, they started shooting, 20 metres away from Barn, gunshot after gunshot, pure commotion. Barn was shaken, he was in shock, he stood there in awe, foolishly. As were they stood within 20 metres of a gang shootout. Stray bullets started to spray and scatter across the court, Barn claims he rushed to cover. The cover being a car the other side of the court, he kneeled being the car just peeping through the window at the ongoing commotion, ‘I was just watching the life leave bodies, bodies slowly seeping into the blood ridden floor’, to put it in his own words. He also says, ‘It lasted 35/40 mins, but it felt like hours, my heart was pounding. Once the area was cleared we immediately fled, and the amount of crippled or lifeless bodies on the floor was astonishing, every 10 metres there was a pool of blood, which in some cases was accompanied by a body.’
Barn talks about the moment as one of the most terrifying but vital experiences of his life. It made him realize that the path he was slipping down was dangerous, the constant drug use, or petty beef and fighting with school colleagues. This event showed him he needed to find an escape, and for him that was music. He knew he’d never make it as a sportsperson/athlete, and he enjoyed listening to music, so he decided to focus and divert some time towards it, hoping to make something out of it. At first he claims he only spent a couple hours per week on it, but as he got more into it, the couple hours per week turned into couple hours per day and they just continued to increase with every song he made. Now, 4 years down the line the hours exerted into his music are evident, the numbers don’t lie!
As well as this, we asked Barn some questions about his career and life.
What next? – ‘an album, first studio recorded album. Features and everything!’
When’s the album? – ‘soon hopefully, I already have songs ready and just need some more, we’re almost there’
Who’s your dream feature/collaboration? – ‘I feel as if over modern years the hip-hop game has changed a lot, however J Cole has stuck to the more old school style and has given me a lot of inspiration and motivation, so would have to be him’
What’s your favourite song of yours? – ‘It would have to be Synitlate, the way I open up and deep stuff in this song is really strong, and not something I do commonly’
What are some tips you’d give to younger people coming through the hood? – ‘Try to find distractions, the hood is a dangerous place and it’s very easy to get lost in there. Be strong and resilient, if there’s something you specialize at, stick at it, be persistent. Have belief. Also, don’t get involved with any sort of drugs, they lead to more things, they’re the start of the end. Stay clean and try to make it out, because anyone can.’
We here at viZion foresee a tremendous future for Barn, he will revolutionize the rap game and take it to new heights. With all his experiences fresh from the hood at a young age his storytelling and lyrical ability is outrageous. His flow and voice also hold him in very good strength. If we don’t see at least a few Grammy’s in his cabinet in the next decade we’d be certain these awards are rigged after all. We also wouldn’t be surprised if he delved into the Hollywood scene. Whether this be as an actor or producer, this is a very doable side career for Barn.
Overall, Barn is a super down to earth guy, he possesses a good vibe and beholds a very interesting personality. As we’ve said we see him hitting the very top. He has some more stories for you that you can see in our podcast at www.viZion/podcast/barn.com . However from this article, take use of his tips if you’re a young man battling to make it out of a harsh area. And, be careful when playing basketball!
Here you can see I have created a doc and filled it in with all the details of my shoot. This includes; the date, place, models and equipment used. With this information it leaves me prepared for my shoot and I know exactly what I need and what will happen. This is very important as I don’t want to be rushing on the day and forget some vital things.
For my language analysis I am referencing an article by Wyclef Jean on his experiences and lessons learnt through his music career. This article is dated back to September 2017 and it’s done by Q magazine.
The article speaks on ‘the rapper and musicians rules for life.’ Here he gives 10 tips for life, varying over multiple circumstances and situations, whilst some are transferrable skills.
Who is Wyclef Jean? Nel Ust Wyclef Jean is an actor, rapper and musician, winning 3 Grammy Awards. He also filed to be the president of Tahiti in 2010, however he was ruled ineligible to stand for office. He has quite the variety across his life so could be a very good person to take tips off of!
What does he talk about? Jean talks about his life experiences. Everything he has learnt through his extraordinary career and what he would say is most important in life, his top tips or ‘commandments’ which are vital for a successful life.
Where was this article wrote? Throughout the article there is no display of where it was wrote and constructed. However, you can clearly see that Wyclef Jean has wrote it all from a first person perspective straight from his own head and experiences, as at the end of the day no one else could give you his top 10 lessons and tips!
When were these tips released to the public? This article by Q magazine, written by Wyclef Jean was done in September 2017 yet the experiences and references date back to 1987.
Why did he write this article? I imagine he wrote this article as it is quite an interesting topic and maybe something that’s quite enjoyable to write. He may also feel as if it’s quite a good deed as he would be helping others. Also, readers would be interested in someone like Wyclef Jean’s experiences and top tips, due to his successful career, therefore it would have a large target audience and is a good business opportunity for not only Wyclef Jean but also the Q magazine.
How did he write this? He must’ve dedicated a lot of time to planning and constructing this article. It’s been constructed off of his experiences and the valuable lessons he has learnt, and he has deconstructed all these lessons and experiences and explained how they have helped and in what departments they’ve helped and he’s learnt from.
This article is structured as a ‘life tips’ article and that’s all really. This is clear to see due to the very simple and easy to understand structure and spacing. The large and bold numbers are very noticeable and make it very clear it is a tips list. This is because the big bold numbers are conventional features for a tips list making it very clear and easy to understand. As well as this the main tip is also in big bold writing like a subheading next to the number, with a paragraph underneath describing why he feels this way and how it an help, which yet again is a conventional feature for a life tips.
In this article it is very clear it’s from a first person perspective with no journalist or reporter present. This is because:
Due to the structure of the writing you do feel very informed and feel as of it is 100% truthful, it makes you trust and believe what is said as it is straight from him and couldn’t just be something made up on the spot. In this article there is no real conclusion or introduction from the author, he more or less goes straight into his tips, which could be quite a strong structure as there is no time to get bored and it’s all interesting when it comes to the tips, which is gripping for the reader.
The language used is connotes the rappers genre well, he touches on his past and upbringing and it links into hip-hop nicely. Throughout the article not many quotes are used, however 2 of them yet again link very strongly to his brand and genre, “I remember when I was 27 this person was an asshole to me.” and “Yo, can I sample this song?”. Both of these quotes show his personality off more, which makes you feel closer to the reader and article.
Overall I feel as if this article is very good. It makes you feel very close to the reader and you feel as if everything being said is 100% true. It gives you a very strong understanding of Wyclef Jean’s life and career. It also displays his personality well, with the quotes and language. This is a very good attribute to a ‘life tips’ article as it shows you why they may think this, it further enhances your understanding.
CONTENTS PAGE PEER ASSESSMENT
What type of shots have been used to create a variety of shot distances and how has the camera been used to communicate meaning?
Could do with different models but there is a variety of shot distances from the close up on the front cover to long shot and mid shots. They’re satisfactory and conventional!
What choice of Mise en scene is appropriate for the star image and genre?
The street urban costume is appropriate and so is the jewellery and accessories. It shows a clear link to the genre with the strong props used.
How far is the font used readable and reflects the genre?
It is young, almost graffiti like and fits the genre. The fireball font is a bit cliched though and overused. It is also difficult to read a lot of text in a sans serif font in uppercase but you could also argue it is quite contemporary and appropriate for the young demographic of the target audience. It shows a strong connotation of the genre and brand and good sense if that’s the target audience.
What technical conventions of a Contents page are present and used effectively?
Page numbers, insets but no captions on the photos so who are they? No page number for the actual contents page. Needs proofing for typos. There is a pug but that is a bit thin in terms of design – feels a bit placed and too obvious! Very satisfactory and minimal.
How has Indesign been used to layout the page to convey a brand?
Yes as there are photos and plenty of information but perhaps the cover lines are too bold and perhaps we need more information. Definitely need captions on the insets to anchor the images. Lacks description and information, too minimal again.
How well have the text and visuals been integrated together?
Top two page numbers need to be on the right margin to keep continuity with the bottom right column numbers. Some of the visuals need anchoring or giving some extra border or shadow to make them have more impact? They’re rather minimal.
Where has photoshop been used to manipulate the photos to enhance the star image or genre?
The main model needs to be manipulated more to give him a sharper image or one that fits with the genre. It is too ‘ordinary’ at the moment, seems as it’s been used as it’s just functional. Whereas the two borrowed images have some filter, impact and narrative attached to them, they clearly connote the genre.
How is the language used appropriate for the genre and target audience?
More colloquial genre appropriate lingo is needed as at the moment it may not speak to the target audience in the right register and tone. It fails to convey the genre well and lacks effective language.
Following this peer assessment I have conjured up 5 targets for my contents page that I can use, these are as follows: