A new and improved article

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Changes made

In this second draft, I have made many changes to the structure and contents of the article. I have shortened the part about the Kpop group KDEAM and have a larger focus on how the company came to be and the past events, instead of the part about KDREAM being so large I have introduced the group and have linked the SharpShoot website at the end of this part of the article further interesting the reader to go onto that website. I have then added time and a place for the interview to give it more context and structure, to give the reader a better experience when reading the article.

Furthermore, I have added more language techniques to draw the audience into reading this article. Some techniques include rhetorical questions to break the 4th wall with the reader and alliteration within the text to help the article flow and make it easier to read. The majority of the words in the article are simple and easy to read but some of the words are bigger to have a larger impact on the context and words, I then split the article into smaller sub-articles with titles for each one. These titles are all questions apart from the opening and ending this is to interest the reader to continue on reading as they will want answers to the questions.

Impacts

The impacts I want from the changes in this article are for it to be more interesting for the readers and very enticing, it should visually look very well presented on the double-page spread with lots of colour and pop. The cliff hanger information on KDREAM should lead the readers to go onto the SharpShoot website and look further into the group and other articles and gossip, each question for the sub-article titles should make the reader want to continue reading on as each question will open up new gossip and information for them.

The article itself should give audiences information about the company and about the directors about their backstories as well as gossip about KDREAM, this should make readers want to continue on reading as there are sub-articles within this one so that they will not get bored of the same article in a full double-page spread. I hope that my article interests audiences to read the full article as well as feel very impressed and in awe of how the company is developing in the world of Kpop.

Targets

• Make the article look exciting and inviting in my magazine
• Add more language techniques
• Give it a stronger general tone
• More powerful sentence openers
• Word the quotes better
• Cut it down

Final article draft

Below is the final draft of my magazine article, I have added the targets from above to make it more effective and have a powerful effect on the reader. I am pleased with my final article as it is interesting and clearly informs the audience of the past events of SharpShoot Entertainment whilst also giving the backgrounds of the directors and links to the official website of the company.