PDF of your Draft article before submitting on Classroom and then use the teacher feedback as your targets.

Article Draft

Shown below is my first article draft of the article for the double-page spread, it tells the reader of the story behind SharpShoot Entertainment and the growing group KDREAM. It lastly touches on the subject of RXN’s Jinho leaving to join the army as he is related to a member in KDREAM. For a first article draft, I do not think it is terrible, it has a nice flow and the writing style is effective.

Please click on image to see full article draft

Voice recording of the article

Below is the voice recording of the article draft, this is to be able to receive what type of tone the words result in and whether or not the audience would be interested in reading the article itself.

Reflection

In conclusion to the article draft, I think that it reads relatively well for a first attempt, the words flow and the tone will capture the attention of teen girls. The words flow quite nicely too as they are mostly simple easy words to read, I like the touch of Korean words in the article to emphasize that part of the article to help make the words sound more energetic and so it links back to the homeland of kpop. The use of quotes within the article from both directors on the interview subject further highlights their emotions towards the subject and makes it seem like they are directly speaking to the audience resulting in the readers feeling more involved and informed of the subject. I have also broken the 4th wall many times as the interviewer make references to the audience through the use of imperatives and questions, in the article the interviewer puts in their own opinions at times to show that everyone can be involved in the article it is not simply an interview with two directors, the audience can all have their opinions.

There are facts in the article as well as the background of the directors giving the article a proper story and structure, the focus on more than one subject in the article makes it more interesting to readers so they can read about more than one specific subject. It is an article with multiple sub-articles within it that all link together to the SharpShoot Entertainment company.

Targets

• Add more language techniques to grab a larger audience into the article
• The sentence openers all need to be grabbing and stand out
• The article itself needs to be cut down so it is smaller so that audiences do not feel overwhelmed when they open the double-page spread
• Words in some places need to be changed so that it makes sense and is easier to read for young girls.
• Needs to be a more energetic and familiar tone to the article so I will add in more punctuation and colloquial language
• Cut down the article as it is too big and drags on slightly
• Focus on a specific subject in the article
• Cut down the sub-article of the KDREAM group
• Put in a time and place of the article to give some context
• Add in catchy gossip titles
• Introduce the directors in the article

I will add all these aspects into my seconds draft to make it more effective and interesting to the audience.