Peer Feedback for Draft 4

• ‘To begin with I think the MES fits the genre well. The dark colours of clothing helps establish this gloomy and alternative form of music that gives this grungy/punk vibe to the performers. I like how in the narrative the actor is wearing just a basic outfit being plain white tee-shirt and denim trousers as it reflects that this boy has insecurities and a lack of identity so these clothes help him almost blend in so he does not feel judged by bringing notice to himself’
• ‘I also like the low key lighting in the performance yet again illustrating a dreary atmosphere. I like the bright overexposed sort of lighting when the actor is walking around in the yard reflecting when he is outside he is feeling exposed and everything for him has become almost dizzy, flustering and dreamy for him as he is lost and feeling overwhelmed’
• ‘I think the acting is really good and the performer shows a lot of passion making it super convincing that he is the real singer’
• ‘The use of the broken mirror was an excellent choice to convey this boy is feeling insecure. I think using the yard was confusing at first but then I noticed it made a lot of sense with the lyrics and was very clever’
• For the performing shoot I think the room has a dark feel to it with the blue stained glass and the broken light above. The shots were steady and the variety of distances, angles and movement was very good and flowed well with the music’
• ‘I would say the start image was okay but the singer is the main indicator you listen out for when listening to alternative indie therefore the singer needed their costume to stand out slightly more as the base guitarist and lead singer both were wearing similar black clothing whereas the drummer had a white tee-shirt on which makes him stand out which may have been a good thing for like a heavy metal song where the drummer has a lot more significance and isn’t such a simple sequence for them’
• ‘I would also say that it would be nicer to see some other transitions’
• ‘Lastly my biggest thing is I think you need to include more narrative shots in your music video as of now it is a little to much of performance and not a clear enough storyline, there feels to be a big chunk during the middle that needs to be broken up by some narrative shots just in order to make the video a little less repetitive and I also believe although you can gather the main message of the storyline from the few clips I think it needs to be developed a little further at least’
• ‘Some of the lip sync was visibly out of sync and some of the lighting during the shots of the  whole band would of been a little bit better but overall it was really great’
• ‘None of your clips drag on, they are all nice quick shots. The shots also have a good range of angles and distances. It isn’t boring and the movement in the clips fit together very well. Near the end, you have some shaky transitional effects that look really cool and effective. You have some shots with good angles and lighting’
• ‘I don’t understand the narrative. What’s the story behind the main character? Has he been through a breakup? If so, I like the cracked mirror, it gives the impression the cover star feels broken too… Why is there a guy walking around miserable outside- is he part of the story?’
• ‘There’s a few shots that are blurry, I think some of these are on purpose, but it looks like some should be a better quality to me. Specifically one near the start, or the shots of the second guitar playing out of focus’

We have taken this feedback on board and made necessary changes in order to improve our music video. A very common criticism was regarding our narrative which was highlighting the lack of shots which contributed to the narrative having little meaning to it. Unfortunately, we don’t have a lot of footage to help this and to create a story out of the narrative, however we do have enough footage to allow the narrative to create some sort of meaning and almost act as a theme of loneliness and depression radiating throughout the video. In regards to the blurry shots and other criticism that cannot be changed, that is something that is out of control at this stage in the production, but we will aim to use alternative shots where possible.